Today, I discovered that my state is passing a bill regulating cow "emissions". Basically, we need to regulate cow farts. I live in a farming town. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cow take a large, flatulent shit with my arm still elbow-deep inside their rectum. FML
Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML
Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML
Today, we had cabbage. A lot of cabbage. The farts are so horrid I can barely stand myself. FML
Today, my office smells like a giant turnip green fart because of a sewage leak. FML
Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML
Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML
Today, I was visiting friends in the country, and the property next to theirs has cows. Bored, I walked over to the fence and looked at a cow, who trundled over to the other side of the fence. I then saw the farmer staring at me and for some reason I said, "Just saying hi to your cow!" FML
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Top comments
WinterChild 20
The first person to come up with an air purifying butt plug is going to make millions.
TXfmylifer 10
I wouldn't worry OP, it's not like anyone can tell if your cows are "exceeding the limit" and then fine you or haul you off to jail.
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Comments (89)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Uh...what? Why would they even consider that? That makes no sense.
WonkeyDonkey 10
Oh no! Our Government just passed a law (only in my state) to fine anyone $1554 or two months imprisonment for brown eyeing/mooning/flashing your bum in public!