Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Today, my husband returned from a hiking trip. We had "I missed you" sex and after we were done, he told me about all the ticks he had while on the trail. He then went to shower and while washing, he found a tick latched to his penis. I technically had a three way. FML
Today, I found a massive tick on my boyfriend's ballsack. I found it with my tongue. FML
Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML
Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML
Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML
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Top comments
MtnDew32 0
A tick on your dick? Ew, that's sick.
IceeCreamm 7
wow maybe having a bigger penis is not that bad?
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Comments (505)
natureboy1992 0
140, OP stands for original post.
kristalove 4
Y'all are a bunch of babies. Obviously, none of y'all go outside or anything. Lord. A tick is not a big deal. I get them a lot over the summer, I go camping often, and I just grab a tissue and pull it off. No extreme measures are needed. Goodness.
thethingy 6
only animals get ticks
JohnM989 2
Humans are animals ;)
briannac1 0
that animal!
dvdp112 0
note to self..... when you get off work today go get get 5 ticks. place the ticks on your penis. after removing ticks go to the club with skinny jeans on with a confidence you never had before. LOL seems like a plan.
Bananaa122 0
kick the tick of your dick cuz that's sick.
sweetness17 7
**reading these comments*** it's really sad how many small penis guys commented on yours for them to have to find a tic in order to have a medium sized package...just FYI, you did NOT find the cure to a bigger penis...pathetic.
trgower13 0
why did you take it off? I bet it's the only thing that has ever sucked on your penis haha.
vballchck 0
what were you doing to get a tick on your dick?
soulfulemo 0
howd it get there.. were you doing stuff in the woods o.e
gegiib 0
wash yo dick and you wont have bugs on it