Today, my husband returned from a hiking trip. We had "I missed you" sex and after we were done, he told me about all the ticks he had while on the trail. He then went to shower and while washing, he found a tick latched to his penis. I technically had a three way. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a massive tick on my boyfriend's ballsack. I found it with my tongue. FML
Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML
Today, after good sex, we were lying in bed, just hugging and stroking each other, when the moment was ruined by a mosquito biting my nipple. I swatted it and we tried to get back to feeling good when another mosquito bit my husband right on the tip of his penis. Moment well and truly over. FML
Today, my husband and I mutually discovered that we are both infected with pubic lice. How? I found his and he found mine while we were in the middle of 69-ing each other. So, so gross. FML
Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Today, I had a walk-in: a tiny tick, crawling through my bathroom window, looking down at me in the shower, wondering whether I might be tasty. The window was closed, by the way. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some alone time under the stars. Things were getting hot and heavy in my truck bed and clothes went everywhere. After getting dressed, I felt pain. Little did I know that I threw my underwear in an ant pile. I got bit down south, a lot. FML
Today, what started as an amazing day with hiking, a picnic, more hiking, then a romantic nature walk, ended in a ridiculous screaming match between me and my boyfriend. I only asked him to shower before laying in our bed when we got home, since we were covered in sweat, bug bites and dirt. FML
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Top comments
AmbrosiaFan 19
The checking for ticks should happen as soon as he walks in the door. Head to toe to head... Yikes.
RichardPencil 32
I'll bet you were "ticked off." Oh, and technically you committed **********, bug-******.
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Comments (14)
AmbrosiaFan 19
The checking for ticks should happen as soon as he walks in the door. Head to toe to head... Yikes.
RichardPencil 32
I'll bet you were "ticked off." Oh, and technically you committed **********, bug-******.
Marcella1016 32
Would that mean she and her husband engaged in buggery?
samomaha 17
I can only hope that there weren't more than the one tick on his penis, and one (or more) fell off from the friciton during the act.
RichardPencil 32
If some fell off inside her, her hoo-hah could become a ... ...wait on it... ...ticking time bomb.
Marcella1016 32
He needs to be careful. Ticks carry Lyme disease. Which is permanent and flares up the rest of your life. Recommend he uses deep woods bug spray on exposed parts of his body whenever he goes on his hikes. Although idk how that would help protect his dick. That just...sucks. Hopefully he’ll take this as a lesson and be more careful next time.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Check yo'self before you wreck yo'self with Lyme Disease!
Mooglefox 24
Was it good for the tick?
Susan Yee 9
He didn’t shower after hiking, to wash off the sweat and dirts? Straight to sex? Gawd. You two are gross.
bigdikbubls 5
that's what I was thinking
Baby_123 8
Did you have the ticks consent?
JasonThorn 23
I always felt a little weird about showering before sex even if I spent the whole day inside. I don't feel weird about it anymore.
namine120409 42
Did you not notice during??
J15237 25
Please tell me you checked yourself after this happened? Your husband should have showered first and then or during the shower you two had your " I missed you sex". How long was the trip? I mean if its was one of those long hiking trips I could get wanting to rip each others clothes off.