Today, I didn't mind paying a little bit extra for my manicure because I forgot how nice it was to have someone hold your hand. Even if it was an old Asian lady. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
Today, I treated myself to a Thai massage. The masseuse was so aggressive and intense, she left me with injuries on my hands and back. I paid $60 for someone to hurt me. FML
Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML
Today, we went for a foot massage. My wife found it incredibly relaxing; I just found it weird that a complete stranger seemed to be trying to give each of my toes its own handjob. Plus they used so much moisturiser that it made the inside of my shoes feel like squishy mud all day. FML
Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML
Today, I went to a different hairdresser than usual to get 5 inches off my hair and bangs. He ended up charging me half price, saying, "Don't worry, we all make mistakes." FML
Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML
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Top comments
young_weezy_fml 3
happy ending!
Since1998 20
Even jigsaw doesnt get that creepy.
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Comments (50)
The_Thinker 18
Paying a little extra for a manicure? I bet the old lady must've had more of a foot fetish.
perdix 31
Now that you are getting the idea of paying people for physical affection, you may want to look up local gigolos. If you think hand-holding feels nice, you can get a lot more from these guys!
sezzle17 11
You poor thing! That's a pathetic story!!!
Enslaved 38
Hire a masseur and really treat yourself.
perdix 31
#22, she should make sure she brings enough money to pay for the "happy ending." In this case, there is no "Five-finger discount." ;)
RedPillSucks 33
That's called "fisting", and you don't want to pay the extra
chanellgymnast 17
Awwww
djinnyf 12
Go in a salsa bar!! Free lessons, and you have to hold hands with a tun of partners!! ;)
NurseJonathan 9
Wait. You held hands with someone before? You are much more fortunate than I am! I had a girlfriend who said she went slow and would hold my hand in a month. When prom came about, she said she was going without me. Then of course, I was dumped. Two weeks later she gets pregnant by some guy, and then after that she lost her baby and had cervix cancer. I still feel like it's my fault somehow. The point being: You are more fortunate than some people like me.
jameen 11
...what?
ForeverAloneGal 23
You're more forever alone than me..
NurseJonathan 9
The Original Poster has better luck than most. And yes, after what I've seen on this planet, I'd rather not reproduce.
farhad_71414 2
Oh dudd
jlynpa 10
I hear ya! I've called the 800 number for comments on the sides of products just to have someone to talk to :p
trav_o 8
Shouldve had her throw in a happy ending too!!