This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.
Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML
Today, I got a call from a girl I dated long ago, who cheated on me and got pregnant by another guy, or so we thought. Turns out it isn't his, and she is taking me to court for child support. FML
Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, I turned off my boyfriend's Xbox while he was playing because I wanted to talk to him about getting more serious with our relationship. As I did so, he said, "That's not the only thing you just turned off" and promptly broke up with me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
meirasanya 10
Report him to the police! Stealing from you is illegal enough, but downloading child **** as well! He won't need to worry about bills from jail. It's also safer for children if he's locked away.
ihateexams 0
Anonymously call the police and report him for downloading child pornography. If there's any evidence on his computer, that will probably be enough to prosecute.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (129)
theslipperytruff 0
He needs to sit on a curling iron.
filsworld09 0
I agree wit 106 ppl dat molest children r incurable n all should b set n front of a firing squad!!! also the ppl dat sympathize wit dem!!!!!
adaliapeace 3
*sigh* Stealing from you? You're married. Whatever happened to marriage being a case of "what's mine is yours, what's yours is mine"? On the other hand, he won't need to worry about paying bills if you do the intelligent thing and report him to the police. Child pornography is illegal (obviously) and he will spend time in jail for it.
aro_29 0
Aaron
Raddaya 3
OK all you people that say that anyone who wants to bang a child is ****** need to chill out. Any ADULT who wants to bang a child is ******. I'm 13 and I wanna bang Ariel Winter, does that make me ******? No :p
XAnNiHiLaTiOn 6
if it's actual child **** (17-) then the cops would already be tracking him and have him behind bars, it's probably a very young looking 18 year old. and about the stealing if your married it's technically both of yours already
by12thenby6 0
What a sick POS, he needs to be shot for looking at child ****!
megpaintsthetown 1
Sick ***** like that need to be reported. And of course u can steal from ur own spouse. If a husband took his wives jewellery and sold it and kept the money for himself without asking or telling her then of course its stealing.
KingZaneXII 6
Child pornography??? That's revolting. FYL for having to live with that sick bastard
toriori57 0
He need to go to jail for child **** gross