Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML
This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML
Today, I got a call from a girl I dated long ago, who cheated on me and got pregnant by another guy, or so we thought. Turns out it isn't his, and she is taking me to court for child support. FML
Insult to adultery
Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML
Foreshadowing
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Stuck
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Of all the places…
Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Never touch the Xbox
Today, I turned off my boyfriend's Xbox while he was playing because I wanted to talk to him about getting more serious with our relationship. As I did so, he said, "That's not the only thing you just turned off" and promptly broke up with me. FML
Top comments
meirasanya 10
Report him to the police! Stealing from you is illegal enough, but downloading child **** as well! He won't need to worry about bills from jail. It's also safer for children if he's locked away.
ihateexams 0
Anonymously call the police and report him for downloading child pornography. If there's any evidence on his computer, that will probably be enough to prosecute.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (129)
Boddmon 0
oh wow, you really know how to pick em.
Mest_Is_Wicked 0
"cuppincake", REPORT THAT FUCKBAG TO THE POLICE, NOW! Or, better yet, tell me where that shit lives, I swear to god, I'll drive there, and torture that ******.
arcadiaware 0
Child **** = Bad Torturing another human being = Good Man it's great to know your priorities. I have to wonder, if you catch a 13 year old with CP do you slice em up real good?
Mest_Is_Wicked 0
Yeah, I would. So... what you're implying, is that fuckbags like that don't deserve torture?
null_fml 11
Yes, 13-year-olds are "fuckbags" for being attracted to people their own age. That's the definition of "sound reasoning" right there...
Flutist 3
Some people are sick. But torture the ones who MADE the ****. Op's husband wouldn't have it if those people didn't make it and we wouldn't be having this conversation.
Maus_fml 0
You guys are all kind of ****** up. Nobody deserves torture. Not even mass murderers, rapists, or torturers. This is because nobody deserves to be murdered, or raped, or tortured, and healthy people don't do that kind of stuff. The adults who like this kind of stuff and who -create- it are ill. Literally. They need help, just like the murderer, just like the rapist, and just like you, apparently. You need to help them make better decisions with their lives and become better people, or at least stop them from doing this, not act out revenge fantasies against them.
karmachameleon 0
one thing i've noticed missing from all of these comments... YOU NEED TO CALL THE POLICE. child **** is a CRIME. yes he will be arrested but also the sickos who made it will be closer to being busted and shut down.
Totenglocke 0
"Nobody deserves torture. Not even mass murderers, rapists, or torturers. This is because nobody deserves to be murdered, or raped, or tortured, and healthy people don't do that kind of stuff." Healthy people don't want to punish those who do horrible things? You my friend, are a complete wuss. Some people will never change no matter how long you put them in jail or how many hugs and kisses you give them. Plus for some people, there's no other punishment that even comes close to fitting the crime they committed.
AziraLevana 2
@155: Ideally such people could be effectively treated. In reality, however, no cure exists. They enjoy what they do and, unlike people with other conditions, such as schizophrenia, they usually don't WANT to be cured. Children's rights take priority; paedophiles and ephebophiles forfeit their rights when they choose to assault and exploit some of society's most vulnerable. Imprison them for life and let Bubba deal with it.
fattypie101 0
ok u r all messed up
IPityTheFool 0
I didn't know you could steal from your spouse...WTF? and that dudes ****** up big time
meirasanya 10
Report him to the police! Stealing from you is illegal enough, but downloading child **** as well! He won't need to worry about bills from jail. It's also safer for children if he's locked away.
wellinever 5
This. Some people seem to think the child **** might not be too bad. They haven't seen it. Nor have I. Let the police decide how bad it is and the judge can decide how much free accomodation your husband is entitled to courtesy of the local jail.
MrAdventure 1
On Top of that, it'll make divorce proceedings that much easier!
npk88 0
It's your duty and obligation (and Idk how it works in Australia but in the US I believe it's the law) to report him if he has child **** on his computer. This actually isn't funny at all and is very serious. If he acts on his impulses and does something inappropriate with a child before he gets locked up you would have very hard time living with yourself and that kid's life would be ruined. Act fast!
AziraLevana 2
@90: Anyone with a conscience would take your position, regardless of the law. You're right: she needs to turn him over ASAP. Such offenders virtually never have only one victim, and typically their behaviour only gets worse. The effects are far-reaching and long-lasting. Kids' rights come first.
SadinSherman 16
Ew what sick person would participate in the making of child pornography pictures and movies
MrSarary 26
Just cause we live in Australia doesn't mean we don't have laws , this is very much illegal in Australia and op should defiantly be reporting it
evilplatypus 39
246 - No one said you didn't have laws. They said they weren't sure what the laws were there. In the US (at least in my state), you legally have to report any suspected abuse (physical, mental, sexual, etc) of a minor. They weren't sure if Aussies had such a mandatory-reporter law.
ihateexams 0
Anonymously call the police and report him for downloading child pornography. If there's any evidence on his computer, that will probably be enough to prosecute.
escualida 0
yeah, AND, if he was doing it on your shared Internet connection you should definitely report him but I would not do it anonymously so that they know you had nothing to do with it and are not implicated!
hedgehogs 0
Yes. I don't know about Australia, but in the U.S., it's illegal to possess child ****. I have been in court (I'm a court reporter) during a sentencing for that very crime. I also reported a divorce case where the husband's obsession with child **** was a key factor. I think talking to the police about your husband's child **** collection would be a good idea. And as for you, what a horrendous wakeup call. These skanks are really devious, and I'm afraid that I do understand how this could go on without a spouse or family member knowing about it. Sorry you are going through this.
shadow455 2
its very illegal in Australia as well
littlexlion 4
Mmm incarceration.
Awnonymous 4
I'm guessing the "child ****" are late teen webcam videos and the poster just wanted to make it sound worse.
emilyjune519 0
I think I may have to agree... otherwise, she would have definitely had to call the cops.
padlarf 14
Most likely. Though if it's really childpron -> police
kimbowee 0
Even teens are children, thus making it child pornography. I'm sure OP knows the difference between regular pornography and what is clearly that of children.
Mest_Is_Wicked 0
Wow, you're an idiot.
menschmaschine5 0
"Late teen", as in 18-19.
11wanda11 6
you need to get this asshole put in jail, fyl indeed! don't let him **** up some kids life as well. dob him in NOW!!
icecadavers 0
ok, the stealing part sucks, but before you go jumping to conclusions, take a good hard look at what exactly he's been downloading. There's a good chance he's just a /b/tard, not a pedo. I've seen this kind of scenario before
LOLYLIF 0
80% of /b/tards ARE pedos, and does it make a difference? CP is CP, it doesn't matter who he is or where he gets it from.
Poetic_catfish 0
Rule number one and two
jadetothes 0
did you know that over 54.9% of statistics are made up on the spot?
jts2 3
Did you know that even though most percentages named in casual conversation are indeed made up, 95% of people will believe them without question?
CyclonePsycho 1
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."
harmony88 0
I didn't believe the initial statistic, but I fell for the latter two.
Microbiologist 0
Love that quote Clone Psycho.
Grayfoxx 5
are you retarded? it shouldn't matter the dude needs to be shot and left for scavengers
fobchick 0
uhhh your "husband" is a sick piece of shit, call the cops he needs to be in jail, sick ****.
AntiChrist7 0
YDI for marrying a complete asshole. Well done
Flutist 3
AntiChrist, you guys must suck at trying to end the world if they are on number seven already.
Boddmon 0
I hope you don't have kids with him. Just imagine what they'd deal with... "Today daddy touched me down there, and then stole my allowance"
Lizzique 0
lol thats ****** up
Zambi33 6
Tht would be a FYKL- (**** your kid's life). Lol. But that would be ****** up