Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I signed my own plaster-cast to make people believe that I actually have friends. FML
Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
Today, my friend made the effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML
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Top comments
aback 5
Genitals are your friends. I don't see the problem, here.
sydneyinspiratio 0
Yikes. Nice friends.
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Comments (151)
Crunchy_fml 0
So you only had 2 friends to sign your friend wall, huh?
katelynmarie 0
Ahaha, only two friends? That's an FML. :P
kilo1_13 0
hope you aren't renting...say "goodbye deposit"
viadomus815 0
That sucks. i guess paint over it
aback 5
Could be worse. They could have signed "Mom" and "Dad" underneath them.
Crunchy_fml 0
why are you commenting twice on one FML? you just want someone to reply back saying they laughed so you can think you're witty
aback 5
No, I do it because I *can*, Dickless.
Crunchy_fml 0
how long did it take for you to come up with that one?
snzizle 0
Crunchy i don't see what the issue is...What are you, a disgruntled hall monitor? Who cares if he comments twice on one fml?
musiclife_fml 0
apparently 35 mins ^_^
jesuisamy 0
Your life doesn't suck. That sounds like something my friends would do. Just see the humor in it.
iBad 0
did u put ur head inside the vag?
annjella117 0
really? that's not even funny..that was actually pretty gay
genius_man16 1
Ahahaha, oh that's pretty hilarious. Your friends sound pretty awesome.
krazykid14 0
a friend wall was a stupid idea in the first place
AmyBeth 0
People are SO stupid! those are body parts there's nothing in it to think of it as funny cause it's so NOT.
paperfox_fml 0
You're 13 and just had your first proper sex ed class, right? "No children, there's no need to laugh. It's a body part, there's nothing funny about it at all. Anyone who laughs is obviously very immature."
geetface 0
I would have drawn penises and vaginas just because you were immature to make a ****** friend wall in the first place. What are you, 5? Who the **** does that?