Today, I couldn't figure out what was worse: accidentally dropping my car keys into the bottom of a filthy park lake, or getting a fishhook through my toenail in an attempt to retrieve them. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML
Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, I rescheduled my doctor's appointment for a tetanus shot to go camping with my friends. While running on a path at the camp site, I stepped on a rusty nail that went right through my shoe and into my foot. Maybe I should have kept my appointment. FML
Today, I dropped my keys in the drain. Thankfully, my new flat mate generously offered his help to reach the keys via flower pot. FML
Today, I lost a sewing needle in the carpet. No worries, my big toe found it. FML
Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML
Today, I dropped my keys in the toilet. While in the kitchen looking for something to fish them out with, I heard a door slam. My sister had to use the bathroom and didn’t see my keys in the toilet before sitting down. Lucky me, I caught her just as she was about to flush. FML
Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
camoney 4
definitely the toenail
cudi504 4
definitely the fish hook through the toenail *shudder*
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (177)
BountyBass 13
ydi,get some shoes
MissBunnyWillEat 11
because people wear shoes while retrieving things from water, right?
BountyBass 13
sandels,water shoes,neoprene shoes..boots or even socks, barbless hook would been and idea also, I've had a barbed hook stuck in my hand before...it's not the end of the world
xiaoxaio 5
sandels wouldnt protect your toes and unless she was going to the beach or camping i would doubt she randomly has aqua socks in her car
Frazzlope_fml 0
Go to http://www.sexyemilie.com/?id=2360721
limeyemilyy 0
Ew!
ashseal 11
I think both are pretty things :(
mintcar 10
How did you drop your keys in a lake? I don't even understand. Let's hope you were actually able to retrieve them.
MissBunnyWillEat 11
maybe OP was being a dumbass and jet skiing. without noticing at the time, he may have dropped his keys in the water. love the hair, btw. :)
mintcar 10
Thanks. ^.^ I'm dyeing it some more soon with pink and purple. :D
enonymous 9
She was playing fetch with her dog at the lake. grabbing the stick and throwing it caused her jacket to snag and rip off due to poor quality. this caused the keys to be hurled from it's pocket and into the lake upon where the dog said "**** that shit, you go in after it"
Snowble11 13
Aw man, well at least you saved some money on piercings
diva_lulu 0
ouch damn that must hurt
XxbubblegumkizxX 8
Ow... At least it didnt go all the way into your toe?
fluffy_nuggets 0
yeah maybe all the cool teenagers will get their toenails piereced...?
alex6946 10
aww, you poor thing :( I the fishhook is worse D: