Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I had to teach my son to use private browsing because his porn keeps appearing in the search history. It worked, it’s no longer in the history, but he has added his favourite videos as tabs on the favourites bar. Either he’s a bigger idiot than I thought or he’s doing it on purpose. FML
Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML
Today, I looked through my daughter’s search history. Did I find porn? No, worse. At the age of 17, she has been looking up the definitions of commonly used words such as ‘arbitrary,’ ‘pretentious,’ and ‘initiative.’ FML
Today, I decided to go through my younger brother's browser history. I found out he goes regularly on PornHub. He's only 10. FML
Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML
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Top comments
Danichaney 15
At least he's curious. I mean, who knows what you'll find when you look up unicorn dick-farts?
KitchKraft 21
That's a little screwed up. No, that's very screwed up. Deal with this now before it becomes a problem.
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Comments (147)
AndyPurdy 31
what the actual ****?
Oppression_fml 19
And the award for best parenting goes to...
davincidasecond 24
Um, unless kids are locked in the house all day, with no contact with the outside world, they will be influenced by people/things outside the house. There's no need to pin blame on the parents all the time.
Kazze 31
Despite how much I hate to say it, I kind of want to see a sharting kitten now.
doodlecloud 27
Oh, it's the kitten sharting? I assumed it was someone else sharting kittens...guess I've been damaged by the internet too...
sdroze1389 31
I guessed it to be some crude pseudo sex act. damn internet...
ometzit 4
If that's the most bizarre of them all, actually I would be pleased
katertott 44
Troll kid - 1. Gullible parent - 0.
laden_swallow09 35
He's a kid. Kids get curious about stuff, especially boys. Hell, I used to put in random words in a search engine just to see what would come up. I wouldn't worry TOO much about it. Either way, you'll want to bring it up with him in a non-confrontational manner.
lfrider92 21
The TV show ridiculousness has a complete segment of searching random words. So, not that bad I suppose.
davek 36
Have you found the **** yet?
quesok 22
Maybe they're suggested searches from Google
lovelockdown23 23
the first two sounds like a category off of ridiculousness and the last one just makes him seem curious. I think you should definitely explain to him that Asians aren't the only ones who can give him aids.
MrConcise 35
Are you saying my Thai hooker lied when she told me I didn't need to worry about getting an STD from her?
Dexter83_fml 17
It could be down to his age