Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting ready to perform a speech in anthropology on the globalization of public transportation and how it brings cultures together. On the bus ride there, the girls behind me were discussing ways to hide their track marks after injecting. FML
Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML
Today, I was taking the subway home when some entitled fuck called me a "junkie", all because I'm long-haired and have my arms covered in tattoos. FML
Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML
Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML
Today, it's my birthday but I had to go to work. I caught the train and I was forced to sit next to this weird smelly dude who jumped off one stop before mine. A little old lady came on, so I shuffled over so she could sit down with ease. Upon exiting the train, I notice my pants were wet with smelly dude's piss. FML
Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML
Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML
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Top comments
unknown_user5566 27
An appropriate topic of conversation, considering you live "down under", no? :-P
Pleonasm 36
"Lol, Dave only has one pube! I have, at least 5!" "Wow man, you've got some serious balls, duuuuude" Must have been a riveting conversation.
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Comments (116)
FrenchToastKick 18
Buy a pair of headphones and mind you're own business. It's not like they asked you to join the conversation.
Blunt person 16
And we care why?