Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting ready to perform a speech in anthropology on the globalization of public transportation and how it brings cultures together. On the bus ride there, the girls behind me were discussing ways to hide their track marks after injecting. FML
Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML
Today, I was taking the subway home when some entitled fuck called me a "junkie", all because I'm long-haired and have my arms covered in tattoos. FML
Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML
Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML
Today, it's my birthday but I had to go to work. I caught the train and I was forced to sit next to this weird smelly dude who jumped off one stop before mine. A little old lady came on, so I shuffled over so she could sit down with ease. Upon exiting the train, I notice my pants were wet with smelly dude's piss. FML
Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML
Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML
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Top comments
unknown_user5566 27
An appropriate topic of conversation, considering you live "down under", no? :-P
Pleonasm 36
"Lol, Dave only has one pube! I have, at least 5!" "Wow man, you've got some serious balls, duuuuude" Must have been a riveting conversation.
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Comments (116)
unknown_user5566 27
An appropriate topic of conversation, considering you live "down under", no? :-P
Enslaved 38
Yes! Haha because. . . Question: What is an Australian kiss? Answer: Similar to a French kiss, but done "Downunder."
Trisha_aus 15
Yes :)
silverhelms 5
I agree
fmmfl1993 1
Is it November in Australia, too?
onlychildFTW 34
No man. It's July. Haha.
californianking1 8
Hah lol!
lukemack 4
When I saw this fml I had a feeling it was Australia.(an Australian)
DocBastard 40
Other than Cheetos, what else is there to talk about when you're young, drunk, and high?
j_cat187 20
Sex would probrobly be a very common topic for a conversation.
ICastillo 25
#8 they probably don't get laid if they're talking About their pubic hair.
crazytwinsmom 25
Cheetos or twinkies.
SilverTears14 5
No not Cheetahs, it's always Cooler Ranch Doritos when you high & drunk!!
SilverTears14 5
lmao not cheetahs either Cheetos*
a_lenzmeier 11
Well depending on the gender the conversation could go like this: Girls: " Did you see that see through shirt that girl Sam was wearing in biology?" "Yeah what a *****." Guys:"Did you see that see through shirt that bitch Sam was wearing?" "Yeah bro. I sat right behind her in Biology." It was awesome!"
Monii_Harlz 11
In Australia stoner food is maccas lol and lots of it!
jim_bolicious 4
taco bell is my munchy of choice
mckibben 7
48- What benefit do you get from sitting behind a girl with a see through shirt? All the goods are in the front.
BlowinChronic 18
89- unless you're into those fat chicks, get to look at those back boobs.
SW500 13
I feel like that's a common topic even when sober.
Pleonasm 36
"Lol, Dave only has one pube! I have, at least 5!" "Wow man, you've got some serious balls, duuuuude" Must have been a riveting conversation.
ICastillo 25
" No way you have five let me see dude" is how I picture it going.
Pleonasm 36
That's, uh, neat... I guess.
ICastillo 25
# 30 what the ****? Nobody wants to hear about your prickly pubes.
madskittlesftw 5
Pleonasm, did you and kylee switch places? She's the one making puns now and you're the one commenting! Just wondering:3
Pleonasm 36
Me and kyleekay like to keep you guys on your toes, keep it fresh. Or maybe I just couldn't think of any and was too tired to try, who knows! However, 51, "exactly" what?
californianking1 8
'Hey man wanna see my pubes' is not what I would wanna hear on the subway to work!
tsent8 15
Too bad 72 wanna see my pubes?
TEXASDude45 5
I don't know about you guys but if I was on that train I'd definitely join in on their conversation about pubes.. Just me? Ok..
sens3sfailing 25
Is it just me or is it that every time some one end with "just me? Okay.." It gets buried? I feel if you need to putthatatthernd, just delete the comment and start over
senor_awesome 14
103- did you forget how to use the spacebar, or isthistheway everyone types now?
kd1373 19
Yeah didn'tyouhear? This is the waythatpeople who talk abouttheir pubes type.
tsent8 15
Heydidyouseewhatcolormypubesareswaggyolo
jerrylee123 8
If you're young enough to be amused by the goings-on of your nether regions, you're too young for alcohol and pot... Oh, and it's a Thursday - shouldn't those little ******* be in school?
enormouselephant 15
I'm pretty amused by what goes on down there, I don't need to be drunk or high to have a conversation about my hoohah, nor do lots of people.
kindlarry 7
Do u shave your balls? How do u do it? Should I shave my balls?
onlychildFTW 34
Lets not talk about balls and shaving please. No one wants to hear that. Or at least I don't.
jmelsha11 11
This is FML. Not Pornhub.
tsent8 15
Actually 80 at times I can't tell the difference myself.
shannonreneee 11
4, sadly summer holidays have started. Cannot walk down the street without seeing them waltzing around with their goon bags and crop tops. Dear lord.
sens3sfailing 25
101-I understand it is slang, but what are "goon bags"?
tsent8 15
Or crop tops for that matter. Does it have anything to do with pubic hair or pornhub?
fabs1171 23
A goon bag is slang for the inner lining of cask wine
emeraldisle 30
You never seem to run out of interesting things to chat about when you're a kid.
Feared 9
Am I the only one here who can't speak with baby goats?
emeraldisle 30
Oh aren't you a clever one.
kxxjoejoexxk 8
Yup everyone in the world can talk to those baby goats a talked to a stoned one we talked about how many pubes we had
Cryogenix 12
Kids these days...smh
Pleonasm 36
SMH? So Motherfucking High? Smoking My Hemp? Sharing Manly Hairs? Just kidding.
emeraldisle 30
Sharing manly hairs seems very appropriate here.
MatteKudasai 17
Yes, two kids were high and talking about stupid shit. This instantly makes all "kids these days" terrible. I'm sure there were kids just as bad, if not worse, in your day too.
sirpantselot 22
Good thing the kids in my year were so much more mature than that. Derp.
Ray_of_midnight 23
Sydney Morning Herald, considering that OP was from NSW....
ManInTheMachine 20
You should've joined in and said "I can guarantee I have more pubic hair than all of you. I haven shaved since high-school." That would've shut them up. Or turned them on, depending on what kind of freaks you're dealing with.
CheeseTron 15
If I was one of them, I would have bursted out in uncontrollable laughter if OP said that.
kindlarry 7
Is the FML that your jealous?
Tezoma 28
Jealous of drunk high kids talking about their pubic hair? Who wouldn't be?!
kindlarry 7
Lol. I just meant that it really isn't a bad thing, it's mildly entertaining. If he got robbed by the kids that'd be FML.
ladylilly25 20
Do they shave or just go all natural?
senor_awesome 14
By all natural, do you mean colored in with a sharpie?
Feared 9
I don't need to shave. My boyfriend's braces usually do the trick.
mduffy08 8
43 - That sounds like it would be very painful.
tsent8 15
Any of you guys remember a previous fml about a guy who got his pubes ripped out by his girls braces? And wtf!?!? My iPhone doesn't try to correct pubes?!
Pleonasm 36
If they didn't have any to start with, it's not much of a trial!