Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting ready to perform a speech in anthropology on the globalization of public transportation and how it brings cultures together. On the bus ride there, the girls behind me were discussing ways to hide their track marks after injecting. FML
Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML
Today, I was taking the subway home when some entitled fuck called me a "junkie", all because I'm long-haired and have my arms covered in tattoos. FML
Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML
Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML
Today, it's my birthday but I had to go to work. I caught the train and I was forced to sit next to this weird smelly dude who jumped off one stop before mine. A little old lady came on, so I shuffled over so she could sit down with ease. Upon exiting the train, I notice my pants were wet with smelly dude's piss. FML
Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML
Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML
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Top comments
unknown_user5566 27
An appropriate topic of conversation, considering you live "down under", no? :-P
Pleonasm 36
"Lol, Dave only has one pube! I have, at least 5!" "Wow man, you've got some serious balls, duuuuude" Must have been a riveting conversation.
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Comments (116)
gxkon 5
The youth of The world We are all doomed
Pleonasm 36
20 - The way you capitalise words makes it look like you are citing bands or song titles...
Pleonasm 36
Who am I to judge? Maybe minimalism is what's hip these days. But just FYI, I meant more like "The youth of" and "We are all doomed." Still sucks but hey.
lelo007 11
I hate to even get a wax done.. I can't imagine going one by one in such a sensitive area.
Pleonasm 36
Well, Noor, when I read your first comment I didn't know you meant ALL of the hair, how sadistic ;) Quite the cutaneous crucible.
michaelaranda 28
How the **** is this an fml? You dont have to live with them.
ICastillo 25
Well they were getting stoned they probably took all they're pants off and comparing them. What happened to stoners being deep thinkers?
senor_awesome 14
Hey man, what if, we're like, just part of this other creatures pubes? Like, if everything in, like, the universe, is just one big pube?
ICastillo 25
You would call that pubeception.
SMOKEnTOKE00 3
Oh my ******* god :O people talking about pubes! this is the ******* worst thing ever! Yeahhhh.....no
markuskind 7
How is this an fml?
HOPPE612 5
honestly why were you listening to there conversation then??
rockstar362 8
I'm not gonna lie noor you are rather scary...
jdmur 6
At that moment you should have reminisced about all the stupid shit you did when you were young!