Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
So brave…
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating right after I maxed out my credit card buying him everything on his Christmas list. FML
Valentine's truth
Today, I got my husband his favorite candy and wine for Valentine's Day. He got mad and accused me of doing it to "bribe" him into bed, since he hasn't been wanting sex lately. When I asked how he could say something so cruel, he admitted that he's been cheating on me, and my gift made him feel guilty about it. FML
Today, my grown up, unemployed boyfriend stole 70 dollars from my wallet and tried to hide it in two different places in case he needed to ditch me and go out by himself. He got angry when I confronted him and stormed out. He feels perfectly entitled. I work, pay rent and buy food. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick up a few things from the store for him while he was at work. After picking up everything he asked for, I wasn't left with much money so I used $50 from my account. When he got home he then grumbled about me spending all of "his" money. FML
Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML
Pure class
Today, I confronted my boyfriend about his infidelity. I saw him at the mall with another woman at Victoria's Secret, and I took pictures from a distance. When I asked him why he did it, he told me, "If you have $20 to your name and you see a $100 bill on the ground, you're gonna pick it up, right?" FML
Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML
Can't have friends
Today, my boyfriend and I were taking a stroll when I was mugged at knife point. My boyfriend did nothing and just stood there while the mugger took my purse and cellphone. His reason? The other day, I'd "disrespected" him by “texting another guy.” I’d texted the guy, “Happy birthday.” FML
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML
Top comments
Marty20612 5
Wow what a asshole... He needs to learn a few things in life
Musiclover1482 9
Kick his ass to the curb.
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Comments (97)
Marty20612 5
Wow what a asshole... He needs to learn a few things in life
ohgeejosee 19
Shew he sounds like the keeper type
applebramble 22
Firstly , he can go **** himself for calling us girls "selfish bitches" over Valentine's day . Second , knee him hard in the groin for stealing and making lame pathetic excuses . And last but not least (and I really hope you have the brains OP) dump the fuckhead . Clearly he's not worth it .
xerbrus 14
i don't disagree with you 36 but it does promote a lot of girls to be more selfish and unsatisfied with what they get especially after their friends brag over what they got most don't even get their men presents
buttcramp 21
yeah an asshole with some problems.. if he's stealing and then super defensive to the point he's name calling, he's got something big going on. I'd talk to him and see if he needs help of some kind, if not, dump him.
breakinlegs 19
36 Those girls are going to be selfish no matter the occasion.
adrianh1090 12
Haha they get all sentimental.
ViktoriaaKills 13
Sounds like she's not the only one he needs flower money for.
applebramble 22
#50 Not all girls are like that . We are not all the same . That's a little sexist of you to say . That's like us girls saying "guys always want sex and they don't give a **** about anything else" . I don't care about the money spent for me on valentine's day or any occasions . Just the thought of anything counts for me and just being with my man .
buttcramp 21
I agree with #73, stop generalizing.
metalcrazed 21
You can't assault someone for saying something you don't like, if you do you deserve jail time.
nollid7 5
I think you'd be an awesome partner ;) these other posters don't know what respect is for women.
borias 6
#36, yes let's "kick him in the groin" for being a jerk. Would you also endorse hitting a woman for being unfaithful? Maybe spite and double standards like that are why people refer to you as a "selfish bitch".
applebramble 22
#119 if my boyfriend ever called me a "selfish bitch" for a really stupid ass reason after I caught him stealing my money , I'd teach him a lesson . I give what I get , but twice as hard at least to let them know not to **** with me . There is never any justice for these kinds of assholes unless you do it yourself .
Musiclover1482 9
Kick his ass to the curb.
YourBatteryIsLow 8
Kick his ass to the freaking moon.
wcc7777777 5
#2- I agree... She caught him this time, but he has probably done it before, and will do it again most likely.
nubbles10 14
I don't typically agree with the 'break up with him' comments that are all too common on this site, but this needs done. He is taking advantage if your trust, a thief, an clearly is trying to but a money value on love. All of those traits make for a shitty partner.
SoultheWolf 19
I agree with you #60. I think most people should try and work through their relationships, nothing comes easy. But in this case it would be better for OP to dumb him. People like that don't just "change" because you talk to them.
J352SAURUS 30
Haha, "this needs done". Sorry #60, that just reminded me of that FML where the Asian lady pinned the OP down in the salon to fix her eyebrows, and OP protested because she didn't want her eyebrows fixed, but the lady was like "I don't care, this needs done".
shaww 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Tell him that you're really selfish when it comes to sex
masterblaster288 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
But at least he's got the 14 of march aka steak and BJ day so tell him to hush
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Why haven't I heard of this glorious day before!? Medium rare steak, and a ********!? For me!? Too much awesomeness for my mind to comprehend such invaluable information. I am marking my calendar from now on.
ELoni_fml 25
Run fast, run far
zandalee 20
And never look back!
Rainhawk94 27
Another overused comment and here's my overused response to it
mea_iloveskiing 26
Make your own valentine's day with blackjack and..
xerbrus 14
hookers? in your case I'm sure it changes to male strippers
IxEaTxZoMBieZ 7
in fact, forget the blackjack
TallMist 32
#46 and the Valentines.
MomentoMori 23
Wow, I'm sorry. You don't deserve that. If he really cared, the amount of money he spent wouldn't matter. You can't put a price on love. I hope he comes to his senses soon.
metalcrazed 21
But she is putting a price on love,she wants gifts not love.
Ksweety_fml 27
Two words, "Dump Him"...
Senseless_487 29
I don't say this often, but I think this is a deal breaking offense. Dump him.
FracturedMinds 21
Yeah, for once I can agree with dumping him. Which doesn't happen very often.
JMichael 26
What an asshole. His reasoning is pathetic.
TheBrochure 22
I suspect that reasoning is a cover-up of a pathetic attempt to gain an upper hand.