Today, I got a call from an ex, demanding to know why my Facebook relationship status was set as married. I got married a few months ago, and I quietly explained this to her. My wife overheard and now thinks I've been cheating all along. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML
Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML
Today, my ex messaged me out of the blue saying she found my fiancée's Tinder profile. I told her there was no way it was true. It actually was. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook to find that my boyfriend's relationship status had changed to being in a relationship with his ex. I asked him about it, and all he said was, "I guess I forgot to break up with you." FML
Today, I found out that my now ex-fiancé was still married to her ex throughout the entire relationship. What I didn't realize was that I ended up paying for the divorce, and 3 months later she got married to someone else. FML
Today, I learned that I'm in that special kind of relationship where my ex thinks we're still married, no matter how many times I tell him that we were divorced over a year ago. FML
Today, I found out the guy I was seeing was married, with a kid, when his wife sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML
Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML
Today, I was visited by a high school friend who lives in another state. She was furious because I got married a few months ago, and she kinda had feelings for me. I had to ask her to leave. Here's the funny thing: she's been married for 4 years and they have a son, and she didn't even invite me to her wedding back then. FML
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Top comments
mona_is_here 10
Unless your wife has serious self-esteem and jealousy issues, you can still explain it to her.
LoveMySoldier82 0
Should have been rude about it. That way, you don't have to worry about your ex and your wife will feel good that you "really told her!" Besides she is an ex... who care? Tell her your heart was able to somehow move on and you found someone you love and actually want to marry.
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Comments (106)
Mystifyin3 1
wow that sucks!!!! ur ex is psycho... hope ur wife eventually believes u, buuuuuut wit a psycho ex- the chances may not look too good :-/
BisFitty 7
#1 knows what she's talkin about, that bitch is a psycho herself!
iliketurdles 7
Don't you just hate baby-mama drama? fo' shizzle.
XxxT3rr4xxX 25
I seriously hope your new relationship with your wife work out as for the psycho why didn't you unfriend her she is your ex for a reason, you can't be friends with your ex.
Cubanloverllera 12
my boyfriend has a psycho **** ex
cera1756 0
Why would you accept a call from your ex with your wife around? YDI
yourmurderscenex 13
that's what i was thinking.
bee_dee_bee 6
Wow, She is your EX! You don't have to explain shit. You put yourself in that situation, ydi.
very_ugly_girl 0
Agreed, The guy is very stupid for explaining his situation to his ex. They are not together anymore.
very_ugly_girl 0
I am not a troll, and why are you following every comment I make. Freedom of speech you dumb fag comment stalker.
XplicitJesus 4
WIN!
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
lmao! kaySL, your the best!
mona_is_here 10
Unless your wife has serious self-esteem and jealousy issues, you can still explain it to her.
lolthatsucksop 0
lol! why didnt you hang up?
timskiii 0
hey just wanted to say TWLOHA is epic :)
rickilynn 0
no doubt. my friend does TWOLHA everyday.
LoveMySoldier82 0
Should have been rude about it. That way, you don't have to worry about your ex and your wife will feel good that you "really told her!" Besides she is an ex... who care? Tell her your heart was able to somehow move on and you found someone you love and actually want to marry.
Doortje 30
That's when you explain, and if she's still a little mad after that you can have great make up sex.
very_ugly_girl 0
True, make-up sex is always great.
usmc_baby 1
Why would you accept a call from your ex at all? If y'all were friends my bet is that she would have already known you were married. If you aren't friends why bother with the drama?
very_ugly_girl 0
I accept calls from my ex all the time, just want to know what he been up to. Do not care if my husband heard me or not.
sourgirl101 29
You can calmly explain it to your ex but not your wife? Maybe you married the wrong girl. JK, I'm sure things will get sorted out and everything will be fine. Your life sounds like one if those B rated movies that can be fixed if you just speak up! Btw it's really none of you ex's business.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Who/what exactly do you hate? It sounds like you caused your own problems. "Quietly" explained what? Why whisper "I'm married, get over it"? I'm not suspicious by nature but if I heard my husband quietly explaining his marriage to an ex, I'd find it odd to say the least. YD
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Quietly doesn't necessarily mean whisper. It could just mean he used his "inside" voice.
ImaginaryFoe 1
I considered that but it seems to me that it wouldn't need to be mentioned then. Most people don't assume a loud "outdoor" voice is used unless otherwise specified. I think he mentioned his quietness to further illustrate how unfortunate it was that his wife "overheard".
dragead12 0
i think he was just specifying that he didn't get upset or annoyed that his ex was bothering him about his marriage.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I kind of agree with dragead12, I think it was said more to illustrate that they didn't get angry or anything and treated it as a completely normal conversation. His wife overhearing seems to have only been a problem because she chose to jump to conclusions despite the fact that most people who are going to cheat don't quit cheating once they get married or generally even bother to explain that they are married.
JeWbOy101 11
I also think that OP was referring to a quite/ calm Tone as opposed to yelling and getting into a heated conversation etc.
TearDrops20 0
Why would you even talk to your ex...I would have thought the same
very_ugly_girl 0
I talk to my ex all the time even though i am married. Keeping in touch with my past lovers.
DocBastard 40
I'm sure your husband loves that. You're an idiot if you keep your past lovers on a short leash like that, you know, just in case. Moron.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Why is it so wrong to talk to an ex? It is possible for people to break-up and remain friends. It's not "keeping them on a short leash", it is just keeping in touch and updated on the life of a friend. It would be stupid of her husband to be upset just because she's keeping in touch with an ex. Staying friends does not necessarily equal still wanting to be together or cheating on someone.
berrychii17 5
wats wrong with talking to an ex? i talk to mine all the time. l
TheHardwick3 7
Staying friends with someone after you break up is like when you dog dies keeping it people if you left you ex they may still love you and visa versa