Today, I caught my 7 year old sister poking a dead bird with a stick, causing maggots to start coming out of the bird's sad little body. I was horrified and threw up. She won't stop mocking me for being a "sissy". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Today, after we finished making my 6 year-old daughter a net to catch an injured baby bird, when she went out to catch it she witnessed a stray cat catch and eat it. FML
Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML
Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
Today, I woke up to several dead snails and worms all over my bed. I guess that's what my little sister meant yesterday when she said I'd be sorry for not letting her play on my phone. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Ah, the worms will finally have their revenge on the early bird!
ArtemisRwill 22
She's just curious. It sucks though that she has a stronger stomach than you.
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Comments (51)
IWillEatYouAlive 16
I think I might throw up, myself...
AriYouIdiot 10
On the bright side, she may have the stomach for a potential doctor!
greeneyedxx 13
One time in high school me and my best friend came across a dead bird. She stared at it for a moment, poked it, and asked "where's your shit hole?" Good times.
SleepyPharma 21
Well I do believe it's located in the bird's butt.
zaidthunder1 27
Sure its a bit disgusting, but not really worth throwing up.
Tripartita 45
Yes, it's much better to save vomiting for things that are /really/ worth it. You know, the way God intended.
fakedsincerity 32
lol as if people can control what makes them puke, #16.
AllisonGabe 10
Well that'd disgusting. ? I would have throw up too. kids can be so sinister.
sammyjay1993 6
Yeah it is strange but when you become an adult, you start to wonder how you did the things you did as a child. For example, I used to hunt birds for several years when I was younger and I loved it. Now, I could never think of doing it again. I haven't hunted in years and I think it's cruel. Children sometimes don't know any better.
catherinecas 30
Yup, when I was little to clean doves my cousin and I twisted off their heads and threw them at each other. Now it's a mildly horrifying/funny in a dark way story. To reassure everyone the doves were already dead and didn't feel anything.
312random213 14
It's cruel if you injure the bird and don't kill it. It's a lot different if you finish it off after injuring it. I hunt all the time and not just birds I hunt deer, turkeys, and I've made slingshots capable of killing a bird (which I haven't been successful with cause I miss most of the time, so I usually scare the shit out of them with my co2 air soft gun)
revolvearoundme 15
When you were seven did someone tell you what happens when something dies? Probably wasn't the truth.
prettygurl89 16
Well that IS pretty sissified :-/ Sorry OP, some people are just squeamish and that's ok
DarthDeath 12
Sissy.
ryand82 11
Haha. Sissy!