Today, I caught my 7 year old sister poking a dead bird with a stick, causing maggots to start coming out of the bird's sad little body. I was horrified and threw up. She won't stop mocking me for being a "sissy". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Today, after we finished making my 6 year-old daughter a net to catch an injured baby bird, when she went out to catch it she witnessed a stray cat catch and eat it. FML
Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML
Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
Today, I woke up to several dead snails and worms all over my bed. I guess that's what my little sister meant yesterday when she said I'd be sorry for not letting her play on my phone. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Ah, the worms will finally have their revenge on the early bird!
ArtemisRwill 22
She's just curious. It sucks though that she has a stronger stomach than you.
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Comments (51)
starlandmarie 22
Be afraid... and if she spins her head around and spits pea soup... well you know what to do.
ApplePie1994 27
Is her name Esther?
Champignon_fml 19
You're squeamish, she's curious about death. Doesn't go well together, but doesn't make either one abnormal either. I remember when I was a kid, I'd sometimes find bird bones in the backyard and show them off to my parents as if I'd discovered a new type of dinosaur. I even brought back an entire wing that somehow was no longer attached to a bird, because I wanted to give the wing a proper burial.
thatsme293 28
To all the "get her checked out" comments, I work with emotionally disturbed children and adults. It would be more of an issue if the bird was alive or she killed the bird.
spaholla04 13
Sounds like something I would have done at age 7! HaHaHa
312random213 14
She is right you sissy. I'm guessing you're a little vegan bitch.
picax8398 12
Sissy
FunSize85 6
7 year olds are AWESOME