Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML
Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with for the past six months. FML
Today, I got more turned on by the idea of sex with my boyfriend than actually doing it. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, my mother said I'm slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution? Buying me a vibrator. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML
Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
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Top comments
izzie321 27
Just mix them together, have your boyfriend use some toys then you can dream about both. Tada, problem solved.
YumeWolf 23
Shows which of the two is more pleasing
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Comments (47)
Nightingale1429 15
Hey, if he can't provide for you you gotta do what you gotta do. Talk with him about it. It will be hella awkward to discuss with him (men have feelings too) but that's what it is to be in a relationship, you learn from each other and try to better yourselves through one another.
sumi90 12
I now pronounce you vibrator and wife.
22JB 11
So is it safe to assume that the boyfriend is not even being thought about while using the vibrator. Hmmmm.
ChaoticPenut 4
Having a vibrator is the equivalent to having a pocket ****** that also tickles your balls
MorbidInsanity 11
Sounds like money well-spent!
mattrd_fml 31
let your boyfriend use the toys on you. :-)
Bob_Gray 6
Ehh. Dreams are weird. My wife almost never shows up in my dreams, despite how close we are and how important she is to me. Its more common for me to dream about masturbating, as well, and we have a very fulfilling sex life.
UncleAdolf 6
Is your boyfriend a Jew?
collinchildress 12
A vibrator won't keep you warm at night.
tin_cup 27
No, but it will keep her wet!
gopi_fml 23
it's time to find a new bf.