Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad had backed into my already crappy car. The reason they didn't buy me a nicer car in the first place was they were afraid I'd wreck it. FML
Today, I went to pick my daughter up from school, only to find that a contractor had parked his car across my driveway. After squeezing my car out, I went to drive out of my street, only to find it had been blocked off. I drove in the other direction to find that a bulldozer was blocking the other end. FML
Today, and for all my life, my dad has been feral about protecting his BMW; we weren’t even allowed to look at it. Well today he decided I was allowed to drive it as an 18th birthday present. I was so nervous, I hyperventilated and passed out in the seat before I even put the key in the ignition. FML
Today, I borrowed my mom’s BMW to impress my new girlfriend. I'd told her that I owned an accounting firm, so I had to look the part. Today was also the day someone decided to rear-end us. That someone happened to be my boss at Burger King. Let’s just say, the cat’s out of the bag and I’m single now. FML
Today, I saw a sketchy looking person frustratingly trying to open a BMW in the parking lot where I work. I ran outside to confront him and call the cops. Turns out, not only was he the owner of that vehicle, but he was one of our company’s biggest donors. FML
Today, I was trying to do a nice thing and let my friend's mom borrow my car. I went to move my mom's car that was parked behind me so that I could get my car out, and then proceeded to back into my dad's new company car. FML
Today, during a driving lesson, I accidentally rear-ended a BMW at a traffic light. The number plate was "Law Man." FML
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
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Top comments
NGM_47 0
WOW!! you're stupid...even if it wasn't yours, you shouldn't have done that, you're just rude!! YDI x 100!!
xlol_fml 0
What an overreaction o_O
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Comments (383)
nammz 0
People like you don't deserve a gift like that. I have no sympathy for you at all
flyingpan8 0
.....let me get this straight... 1. you get a bmw 2. you're a stuck up spoilt **** 3. you're the "i am too much of a pussy to confront this asshole for parking 2 inches into my drive way, so i'll do something reeaaaaal bad, oh yeah, i'll KEY HIS CAR MU HA HA HA HA HA"-type bitch 4. once more, you got a bmw, for going to school... getting a ******* education! it's not like you had to give queen latifah a rimjob after she had a bad case of mudbutt. my response to you: **** you. p.s. ydi
danielleFML 0
152 FTW, seriously.
NorfolkDude 2
I hope you die. Seriously. Just for keying someone's car. I'm glad it was yours, but still the principle of the matter is that you keyed the car.
AnneFTW 17
YDI YDI YDI You're an ass & an idiot. You decide to key someone's car because YOU'RE having a bad day & the car PARTIALLY blocked your driveway??
Kristoffer 35
Serves you right for thinking it's EVER appropriate to vandalize someone else's property. You're everything that's wrong with society today.
whatido25 0
'Stoopid' is for sure.
kaelendra 0
temper temper... couldve been a guest of. your parents or something to.
4ube_fml 6
I agree that the OP should burn. Crap i wish my family had that kind of money to throw away on something as showoff and useless as a brand new fashionable car.
QueenOfMelodrama 0
Temper, temper. Why would you destroy somebody else's property in the first place? If they're a big enough idiot to park in front of your driveway, they're probably too much of an idiot to catch WHY you keyed it in the first place. So rather than doing damage, write a note or something next time. You totally deserved that for overreacting. Yeah, you were having a bad deal. Big whoop.
pleasetryagain 0
So what if the car isn't new? My graduation present was a free lunch at a cheap breakfast joint.