Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Today, as usual, I got home to find that my roommate had eaten all my groceries and left a mess behind for me to clean. To be fair, this time she did some cleaning - she "energy cleansed" my room with a sage wand, burning a huge hole in my mattress in the process. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
Today, I came home after a long day at work to find the furniture in my living room had been rearranged by my mother-in-law. When asked how she got in, she told us she stole my husband's key and made herself a copy. She can now come here whenever she wants, unless I change the locks. FML
Today, and for the past two weeks, the people living directly above me have decided to add rearranging their furniture to their daily routines. Not only that but apparently, 6 a.m. is the most optimal time for them. FML
Today, is my one day off for the week. My mother in law is visiting, and has decided we need to rearrange my living room. FML
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Top comments
epicwaffles 7
I would give him a new face arrangement.
4funzies 13
Bring someone home and improve the Kama sutra.... that might surprise them.
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Comments (74)
kernelkat 16
I was on board with it until the last sentence lol. No feng shui book I've read says to put the bed in the living room lol.
pedinhuh 23
Get a bitch and have sex with her in your bed...In the living room, and make sure he will see it. Then you can thank your roommate and show him how much Feng Shui has improved your life in general!
tay_liz7 5
Where's his bed now?? If its also in the living room, make nights super unbearable for him! Snore louder than you've ever snored before!:)
skyeyez9 25
Put your roommate's bed on the
skyeyez9 25
Street
phoneYuNOlisten 16
does your roommate even know what feng shui is?
Omniprism 15
I think your roommate is confused. It's supposed to be set up for each room.
Cristian89 29
Add some feng shui to his face by using your fist
worldclassrager 41
Look up a few things and hope things don't line up with the room...then he'll have to move out...
minidrone_fml 11
Talk about bad vibes in your reaction, definitely not feng shui. Your roommate is going to kick you out of the place.
clarinetplayer01 9
I'm wondering who read my comment?