Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML
Today, I found my dead phone that had been missing for two weeks. I turned it on to see that I had only gotten 2 text messages during the two weeks. They were both from my mother. FML
Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML
Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML
Today, I went on the road for work for the first time in a very long time. I was enjoying lunch with coworkers when my phone got bombarded with calls and texts. Turns out my wife and my mother had gotten into a fight within two hours of me being away. FML
Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML
Today, I came back to work after 4 days off, as I'd worked a whole month with no weekends or days off, 8-12 hours per day. I came back to over 200 unread emails, 300 emails to send, and over 50 arrears collection calls to make by 2pm. It appears that my coworker did nothing the whole time I was off. FML
Today, I logged into Facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, that were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML
Today, my wife came back from a three-day moms' retreat, and was mad I didn't immediately want to spend time with her. She called me 68 times (yes, I counted) while she was gone, so it was really like she never left. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lex1459 38
Really though, what else matters?
meatloaf11 23
We can't all be popular
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (64)
karcummings 19
at least you're updated now!
tnlander 20
No one loves you more than us degenerates.
CoolKidLizzy 12
Same thing man, I feel you
abNormal62 23
So…… Over 5 million people missed you while you were gone. In my book that's a huge win. Glad you're back what you get me?
WCARlover 35
...everyone just knew you didn't have service so didn't bother to send anything that must be it :')
chocolatelover96 14
Hey, you'll be too busy catching up on all those FMLs to worry :)
saba_ajira 29
But that's a highlight in life!
ITSUPEREFFECTIVE 12
It's ok OP, I still love you.
vikky538 29
Atleast FML gives a **** about your life.
Colon_Man 17
No news is good news. Better than coming home to find out gramps passed and his funeral was two days ago. :(
Enkeria 30
:( I'm sorry for your loss 32.