Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
High times
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
Dad jokes, part #23556
Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML
Today, my friend decided to come clean to his parents about his pot usage. He told them that he did it with me on many occasions. His parents decided it would be the right thing to call my parents. Thanks a lot asshole. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML
Today, my dad's face flushed when I introduced him to my new boyfriend. I live in a small town, and it turns out my dad recognized him. He's the secret child from an affair two decades ago. He's my half-brother. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
Top comments
one11oh 2
does he get a family discount now?
chilearmy123 4
Maybe he can hook you up with the good stuff
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Comments (168)
chilearmy123 4
Maybe he can hook you up with the good stuff
BeforeItWasCool 12
There's a typo in this. I think OP meant "how they met" not "how them met." If the typo gets changed I suppose I can expect a million thumbs down, but what the hell.
Drigr 9
I would expect the million thumbs down for posting it under the first comment rather than for pointing out a typo.
BeforeItWasCool 12
A lot of things entirely unrelated to the original comment are often posted under the first comment. I'm on the App so it's much easier for me to just comment on other comments rather than making my own. I've bunkered down in preparation for whatever reason the community throw my way in any case!
bigtaytay 13
I wanna date her next
hopsinlove17 26
Your dad seems chill and unresponsible. Why the complaints?(;
NothernNightmare 18
60, I must say your taste in girls is bad if you only want her to hook you up with weed. Although your taste in music must be pretty good considering your Hollywood Undead profile pic.
thawny_fml 21
62 I must say after reading through your profile it's pretty clear how much of a liar you are. You hardly have the right to call someone out on something when your interests are far more shameful.
twtwaldron 5
Lol 62 for the win
esines 9
62 you say you don't have a Facebook or Twitter because you believe in a real social life, not online social networking, yet you also say to look you up on kik... How is that real life socializing? Contradictory..
NothernNightmare 18
98, Please do tell me what 'interests' I have that are shameful??
IncredibleHauk15 1
Shut up
sens3sfailing 25
I'm confused as to the shameful interests also. She may have some contradictory stuff but are people on here so ignorant that they will bury anyone who doesn't make weed their life's purpose? if its the atheism, then **** off hypocrites, if it's the tattoos, it's her body and and whatever she does to it in a legal way is her business. Social networking does suck IMO. I don't use it but honestly I don't think any less of you if you do use it. I play video games a lot so I'm not one to preach about being social in the real world lol.
maticha_fml 3
It's "irresponsible"!
maticha_fml 3
The comment was for #61
Rubyduby 8
That's...actually pretty cool
supimnyancat 9
He was just helping a brother out, maybe he'll hook you up with some weed too.
CheeseTron 15
Sounds like a pretty dank family you got there.
xXUND3ADcityXx 0
I gotta meet these people x)
katymack 11
It could be worse!
BunchieRules 31
Yeah 3, OP's boyfriend could be a transvestite mass-murderer who escaped Alcatraz and eloped with Darth Vader on a unicorn in 1975. But that didn't happen. And your comment and mine have something in common: they both have nothing to do with the FML.
Prodigy7 4
It could be worse? It couldn't get better.
enormouselephant 15
I agree 3! They could have known each other under bad circumstances. We've all heard about the pharmacist father and condom buying boyfriend...I'd be cooler with my drug dealer than my boyfriends conservative dad! Not that I do drugs or have a boyfriend.
hitman472008 3
Lol that's awesome.
justjazzmyn 3
that's what i'm thinking too.
Jeffo193 13
Hey, at least they get on!
one11oh 2
does he get a family discount now?
laura323 0
He should
DocBastard 40
I'm assuming they were both stoned when they admitted this to you. I can't think of another good reason.
jacquesromualdez 12
Wonder where the source is and who plants them? Your mom OP.
a_commenter 3
Doc, where has the foot gone?
Yourheadache 19
^ where did your eyes go??
the_smart_way 10
The doc commenting on an FML concerning weed... I think we all know where this will end up, *gets popcorn*
simmer333 0
Yes.
Bakarra 22
That's epic, and they say girls tend to choose men that resemble their fathers...
Webslinger66 10
Nice. Already established friendship. No complaints there...
skoob1 12
That's good, because nobody wants to punched in the ******.
Welshite 40
So your parents are drug-dealers... Well, at least you and your boyfriend will have some nice bonding time with your parents.