Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML
Today, I found my dead phone that had been missing for two weeks. I turned it on to see that I had only gotten 2 text messages during the two weeks. They were both from my mother. FML
Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML
Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML
Today, I went on the road for work for the first time in a very long time. I was enjoying lunch with coworkers when my phone got bombarded with calls and texts. Turns out my wife and my mother had gotten into a fight within two hours of me being away. FML
Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML
Today, I came back to work after 4 days off, as I'd worked a whole month with no weekends or days off, 8-12 hours per day. I came back to over 200 unread emails, 300 emails to send, and over 50 arrears collection calls to make by 2pm. It appears that my coworker did nothing the whole time I was off. FML
Today, I logged into Facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, that were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML
Today, my wife came back from a three-day moms' retreat, and was mad I didn't immediately want to spend time with her. She called me 68 times (yes, I counted) while she was gone, so it was really like she never left. FML
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Top comments
lex1459 38
Really though, what else matters?
meatloaf11 23
We can't all be popular
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Comments (64)
badgercheese94 16
Oy, don't live your life through the gratification of social media attention. Sounds to me you probably had an amazing vacation in the beautiful remote Canadian wilderness, and if you ask me, that is far better than staring at your phone like a brain dead zombie all week exchanging useless texts to people who you never ever have a genuine conversation with.
Enkeria 30
Agreed!
Dean__Winchester 16
HOLY CRAP I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D COME BACK! I PEED A LITTLE WHEN YOU WERENT AROUND FOR A WEEK! WELCOME BACK, OP!:D
Jujuboo_3 25
Fml cares(:
UsernameTaken14 18
OP: was this possibly a Disney cruise to the Carribean? Because I just got back from that, and it was a week-long with no internet. I probably saw you if so! lol
DovahShep 20
Well at least you get to come back to FML!
writerchic85 26
Well at least you have it for the next time the wifi goes out. Or maybe you can sell it if you can't return it to the store.
jazmin3012 28
Well now you have a new notification saying that your FML was posted :)
bigdfootball97 24
Worst feeling in the world…:(
soulreaper12296 28
That's what you see as an FML?
Drosophila82 18
You lead a busy life my friend.