Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of 2 weeks home to meet my mom and she started talking about how she really wants a lot of grand-kids. He called 2 hours later and broke up with me. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I tried to have a conversation with my mom. As usual, it turned into an hour long gush about how much she loves her grandkids. When I said, “You know you have children as well, right?” She goes, "Yeah but I only had them to have grandchildren for me!” FML
Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML
Today, I was doing a family genealogy project. I accidentally discovered that my grandfather couldn't possibly be my mom’s biological father. When I started asking questions, my mom flipped shit, confronted her mom, and the whole mess came out. Now everyone is pissed at me. FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
I think that's a sign to do him right there on the table. At least that's the signal that your Mom is getting across
crimsonlover4 31
Your project's history now OP. FYL
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Comments (81)
1crabbygirl 10
Your mom is an expert at c***blocking.
carminecris89 13
It'll never be your mothers place to decide how many grandchildren there will be, if any. So embarrassing too for a guy whose only helping you with a project.
unicornpower56 7
You can actually know how much children your gonna have, my mom told me. You put your fingers together and look at the side of your pinky and if there's thick lines it means your gonna have boys. I forgot how to tell if your gonna have girls tho. Sorry
pink_raindrops 26
I think that's some kind of old wives tale, though I haven't actually heard that one before. It's kinda like how some people dangle something above the pregnant belly and whichever way the thing spins will tell if it's a boy or a girl.
saksxalmo 20
I have lines there, and I'm never having kids. :P
rahrah27 10
Uh, sorry, but the sex of the child is determined by whether the sperm that fertilises the egg has an X or Y chromosome...
EvanescenceLuver 12
That is not true. There is a 50% chance of being a girl and 50% chance of being a boy. Besides, it's that father who determines gender, not the mother. The mother's reproduction cells are completely genderless.
winkydog4056 16
Sounds like OP's mommy has granny lust.
pinkpanther61789 15
Lets just see how happy granny is when shes called in to be up at 3am feeding and changing a screaming little demon and take care of it all day while mom goes to work and dad is not in the picture. Fyl op I would tell her if she wants to play grandma, start babysitting
catharsis5 9
How old are you? I am imagining that the OP is around high school age (or at the latest in community college). If so, that just added a layer of creepiness to the situation.
Notime4bull 4
Moms: the perfect contraception
EmoSquirrel 7
Exactly four? Oh my, who doesn't love when parents are so involved with the kids...