Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of 2 weeks home to meet my mom and she started talking about how she really wants a lot of grand-kids. He called 2 hours later and broke up with me. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I tried to have a conversation with my mom. As usual, it turned into an hour long gush about how much she loves her grandkids. When I said, “You know you have children as well, right?” She goes, "Yeah but I only had them to have grandchildren for me!” FML
Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML
Today, I was doing a family genealogy project. I accidentally discovered that my grandfather couldn't possibly be my mom’s biological father. When I started asking questions, my mom flipped shit, confronted her mom, and the whole mess came out. Now everyone is pissed at me. FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pleonasm 36
I think that's a sign to do him right there on the table. At least that's the signal that your Mom is getting across
crimsonlover4 31
Your project's history now OP. FYL
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (81)
ViviMage 40
I thought you were studying, not dating! And how many grandchildren she wants is only her right if she raises them and basically buys them off you. She has zero right to tell you how to live your adult life. I don't want any kids, and my fiancé's mother wants to name them already! Unless all study buddies must be female to her?
buckdharma 38
House General Santa Mama swooped in with a heavy bombardment, leaving two humiliated but determined survivors. They quickly called in reinforcements, Trojans, ribbed for her pleasure. Don't let history repeat itself. Remember the Alamode.
NigerianMedicine 11
Most mothers generally don't want their baby having sex, so this seems to be a reverse-psychology thing you mother is pulling. Judging by your reaction, it worked.
maddygirl820 10
And how old are you?
interesting33 37
I agree - your life definitely sucks!
anyav3 13
EXACTLY four, not 2, not 3 and a half but exactly four!
perdix 31
What your mother really wants is a virgin, spinster daughter.
Twisted_Angel 17
First... how do you have half a kid?! You people are dumb. Second, inform your mom that it's a history project, and not a sex ed assignment. She seems a little confused. Third, don't study at your house anymore.
DracoSpirita 21
Firstly, the "half a kid" thing is a joke, moron. Second, the mom was probably just making sure her daughter wasn't doing anything inappropriate with her study partner and thus using reverse psychology. The third part I have to agree with. Study at the park or library or something.
doglover100 29
Reverse psychology at its best.
moonboobs 4
Good thing Dad didn't show up.
gregkingsley 4
And probably won't be the last time she does it either