Today, I told my husband that I was going to get a swimsuit from the Victoria's Secret catalog. He replied, "Are you going to get the body to go with it?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were in Victoria's Secret. I saw a picture of a model and said, "I wish I looked like that." He replied with, "Me too." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML
Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to take her to Victoria's Secret so I could buy her some "sexy clothes". She's 9. FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking up sexy clothes for me to wear while role-playing. I saw something I liked and asked him if we should get it. When he saw the model wearing it in the picture, he asked "Does it come with the girl?" FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me a screenshot of a bathing suit on a store’s website and asked for my opinion. I told her it wouldn’t look good. She then texted me a screenshot of me liking a picture of a friend on Facebook, wearing that same bathing suit, saying, “But on her it looks fine, right?” Fuck. FML
Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
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Top comments
theonlysweetpea 10
Tell him that once he starts lookin like a pro athlete, you'll get that figure but until then go change a lightbulb!
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
what a douche.
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Comments (243)
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
what a douche.
Bobdoleomega 0
exact same comment I was going to post
rockefoe 6
ask him the same thing next time he orders some Calvin Klein underwear
PsychoXtheXrapis 3
Chop his dick off while he sleeps and throw it into the woods. I heard women do that on TV.
lmBrown 0
be like haha u Funny.. wanna here a joke bout my ******... nvm ur never gonna get it
daBeast155 0
well are ya?
herrobear 0
Well, are you?
imthatguythatdid 0
OP plz respomd to your douchebag husband " Would you have the money to afford me if I looked like that?" *SNAP SNAP SNAP*
brightnite 0
113 total win
Tommananaze6T9 4
can no one take a joke im pretty sure he was kidding.whats wrong with a guy that likes to joke around a bit
a_nutritionist 10
@113 ...you just implied his wife is a prostitute or at the very least a pathetic gold digger.
yourshootingstar 4
nah 113 implied she deserves wayy better or he better have money if she looked like one of the models
herrobear 0
Noo, 113 was making a joke, because in reality, any girl that said that would deserve a divorce.
wordnerd42 0
113 implied that the Victoria's Secret models are the prostitutes, gold diggers, etc. OP's husband just implied that the clothing/lack thereof that they sell looks better on better-looking people. When it comes to trying to look sexy, clothing should not take priority. It's the truth..
BShady96 0
50-what if husband went: wanna hear a joke about me dick? nvm its too long :P
radhi16 0
What kind of joke is that?
z620 0
BURN!
a_nutritionist 10
@134 that simply doesnt make sense @162 so a response to being insulted is to just bag everyone who works in the industry as a *****? then i stand corrected, the original comment was just a pathetic nonsensical retort.
wordnerd42 0
215 - not that they are ******, although maybe that was implied. All i meant is that some people are more suited to wear certain styles. But by this point, I'm assuming too much about OP and her husband, so screw it. /trolls/
theonlysweetpea 10
Tell him that once he starts lookin like a pro athlete, you'll get that figure but until then go change a lightbulb!
kut19 6
what if he does look like a pro athlete. then what?
iLove2LoveU 0
if he already looks like a pro athlete then I guess she's not gonna say that
iLove2LoveU 0
if he already looks like a pro athlete then I guess she's not gonna say that
JOURNEYTHEBEAST 0
changing a light bulb is way better than making a sandwich
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
JOURNEYTHEBEAST, that comment was pure genius. Good job XP
BearBear1213 0
ooooh burn! xD best comment ever!
Jojo08_fml 0
Hahah 86, win (:
puddinfellow 2
dude 146, are you even a teen yet?
wikkedphuka 0
i dout he does ... if he did he would be with a hot lady pro! by hiz comment im sensing not hot
bamxitsxandreaa 8
#165 hahaha ^^
kut19 6
well...are you?
Zya_fml 8
If she agrees with her 'husband' then probably...
1215116a 14
I don't think she agrees if she put it on FML.
thebano 4
she just doesn't want to admit what might be true. most women don't admit to being fat because they're in denial
ilux3 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI
richard121212 0
no she didn't u hoe
bigmanj28 0
your dad is winning
Zya_fml 8
Dad?
knocking 0
That would be even creepier if her dad said that to her, rather than her husband.
GuidoCheese 0
You are Losing sir, not Winning.
T1A2Z3 35
Actually we don't know much about the OPs situation. Maybe her dad is winning. He could be an Olympic athlete for all we know. All we do know is her husband said something mean.
cjgqsmooth 0
aye it's on him cuz he the one who wanted chose you as his wife.
peakcheer 2
not really...
richard121212 0
tell him, "am I ever going to get a decent husband, not an asshole like you?"
kawaitabemono 2
he is a real jerk.
ThickHead 0
that's mean
Juicelynlovesyou 0
oh burn!!! go to the gym fatty haha
gaganinia 14
yea you too :)
ksib 0
your ugly.....no room to talk
richard121212 0
she's not ugly... she's just being a bitch
dorkychick 0
wow u have no place calling anyone out on looks...go get an extreme make over ugly edition then u can talk about someone bein a fatty
lendalynn 5
rude much??
smileydancer92 2
What a BITCH! ugh Why does fml always have some ****** up, rude, bitchy ass ppl? Why can't anyone be nice damn it!?
parxxx 0
Don't have to be an asshole about it..
brookig 10
FYL for being such a BITCH!
austinkiser 3
why and we all be bitches and rude ppl on here?! dammit!
austinkiser 3
why can't*
LilSideTwerk 0
by the looks of your pictures "GO TO COSMETOLOGY SCHOOL ugly" ! your make up is horrible and your hair is too . So is your Attitude . don't be so rude !
knocking 0
For all we know the OP could be a normal size/weight. Most women don't look like Victoria Secret models, skinny or not.
jseta94 0
VERRY nice
RileyL29 0
Get real! There are women in that catalogue who do drastic dieting and exercise plans to stay that skinny. Not being in that magazine doesn't make you fat or imperfect.
ReynshineCutting 10
She may or may not be fat, but at least she can fix that.... Can't say the same about your predicament though.
smeesha 4
you know what? you're not too gorgeous yorself. so shut up.
GermanOnslaught 13
She might be able to go to the gym and do something about her weight, but you can't do anything about your bitchyness.
alazae 0
; Aha your a bitch.! well I love when people call other people fat because they think better of them selves.! well **** you, who said you had to be skinny to be beautiful.?! btw "she may be fat but she can always lose the weight but you'll always be ugly" ( ;
itcouldonlyhappe 0
bitch
yoyodog27 5
ya your profile pic dosent look that entreging etheir
Tadeusz_fml 5
Intriguing* and people, much though you may feel she deserves it, please refrain from bulling the respondent. Perhaps it's a cycle of such bullying that makes people attack others to try and feel better about themselves? Harshness begets harshness. She isn't ugly at all, anyway.
SilentTreatment 7
Tell him "Yeah along with a divorce", if he doesn't shut that **** holster on his face.
GuidoCheese 0
Maybe a divorce is too much; he's obviously joking but it is pretty hurtful. It's not like he's telling her that he's sleeping with another chick or something. Meh my opinion, but I respect yours too.
vita987 0
lol **** holster