Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML
Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML
Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML
Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML
Today, I got home after a long day and collapsed onto my bed… forgetting I'd left my laptop open on it. Now I have an expensive, broken pillow. FML
Today, I woke up, and I could see perfectly. Somehow, during the night, my eyes magically became 20/20. I was overjoyed, until I realized I'd fallen asleep with my glasses on. My eyes are still trash, and I want to cry. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover and a pounding headache and tried to take an ibuprofen with a glass of water. I missed my mouth and threw the pill directly into my eye. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
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Top comments
The_Tool1 13
I know that sounds really bad, but hey at least you aren't really blind!
Zebediabolical 45
When I wake up blind, I generally rub my eyes before I jump out of bed all panicked. It usually solves the problem.
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Comments (80)
Muffin_boo 12
Don't feel bad OP. I've done that before only instead of splitting my head open I gave myself an EXTREMELY sensitive black eye. :o fyl.
andiw 6
Ok, really? Who can't feel that there is something on their face?
loloalltheway 23
Du har otur
leadawg75 12
Noorfmls, I have seen a lot of your comments, and you are the funniest nun with the greatest sense of humor!
loneshadow89 4
Use tin foil on windows and check for open areas if done correctly your room will be pitch black. I did this for 4 and a half years when I worked 5pm to 5am
rose1122 6
I was always afraid to wear them for that reason but the one I wear is kinda loose and comes off before I wake up so I never have really had that problem
fabulousal 1
Life's way of saying "appreciate your sight."
blackonblight 33
Must be a good sleepmask if you couldn't feel it. I always can feel mine, and it usually slips off somewhat while I sleep... I'm due a new one, actually.
jairolover 25
your first instinct wasn't to touch your eyes and realize?