Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I babysat the neighbors’ evil kids. They dropped them over at my house and I played with them for five hours. After taking the brats back home and putting them to bed, their mother asked me what time I came back to the house. She only paid me for the 20 minutes I was in their house. FML
Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I babysat our neighbors' 10 year-old. After a while, he challenged us to a pillow fight. I opted out, but she accepted. I went to use the bathroom and I came back to find her face down on the floor, as he sat on her back bashing a pillow against her head. What the hell did I miss? FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I found my neighbours bratty kid in my house, eating my snacks, dirtying my sofa, and drawing on pages torn from my books. I marched him back home by the ear, him screaming I was a meanie, and his mother's only excuse was, “Boys will be boys.” No apology or anything. I HATE KIDS. FML
Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML
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Top comments
nibawan 0
I can't see how you could be helpless on the floor. grab the sword and stand up sissy
Schazam 0
you sir are not an alpha male
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Comments (158)
petite_amber150 0
it's spoiled, dumbass
lottiebearx 10
Go look up 'spoilt' on Google, "dumbass".
macgirl21 0
you were helpless bc you were being hit by a PLASTIC SWORD. FROM A 5 yr old
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Apparently.
Shaggy_92 5
it's called a leather belt....try using one next time...or you could just use the ol trusty hand.
mikejunior88 4
seriously dude ?
koldfire 1
sexiest. costume. ever.
emjay09 0
wow. you must be some kind of weakling ten year old to get taken down by a couple two year olds.
MyTwoCents_ 0
WIN!
kimmykimkim 0
seriously? im 18 and work with bratty kids every single day and have for a long time! good grief you are the one in charge, not them!
purplepickle 0
you guys are underestimating these kids. When you are babysitting little kids, a lot of the time is spent sitting on the floor since they are at the same level as you are. This makes it really easy for a five year old to put their weight on you so you naturally lie down, the get on top of you and attack. It's not like you can throw them into a piece of furniture to stop them, what would their mom (neighbor!) think when she comes home to find her precious little babies with bleeding heads? Of course they blame you too. there goes your money.