Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke to the smell of poop in my apartment. I went to investigate and found out a cat had pooped in my living room. I don’t have a cat. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML
Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom. On my way back, I found a small piece of trash in the hallway so I picked it up. It was cat poop. FML
Today, I woke up to find that my cat had barfed all over my laptop's keyboard and screen, filling each nook and cranny of the stuff. As if that wasn't bad enough, when I went to make coffee to deal with the stress, I found that I was out of coffee. FML
Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML
Today, my cat woke me up by vomiting a big, warm, stinky hairball on my neck and then left. I think she was smiling as she trotted away. FML
Today, I was woken up at 5:15 AM to the lovely sounds of my cat barfing in three different places on my bedroom carpet. FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
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Top comments
LemonadePink 0
Maybe you transform into a cat at night and have no recollection of this. Mystery solved.
sarah2144 14
FYL. That's disgusting.
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Comments (70)
suffertheseason 0
I'm with #29. How do you really know if it was a cat?
allmidnighteyes 11
Damn Animorphs.
Pointy130 0
Yeah. a cat once got into my garage via window screen, climbed up my car (leaving claw scratches) and into a half open window just so it could shit half-eaten mouse guts on my seat.
Allymeme 3
Sorry about that... you see, I turn into a cat at night, and then break into peoples houses. Normally I don't take a shit, but I couldn't hold it in. I was just shocked to come onto FML to see someone post about it. I'll be careful next time... but normally I don't break in the same house twice.
wajalama 0
sounds like garfield had a bad stomachache from all that lasagna.
PSyesinthatway 0
cats are gay
draken389 1
so are u dumbass
thatsozay 0
sounds like a raccoon not a cat
daniivanity 0
your neighborhood has mutant cats.
luvbird1 0
meybe you should get a cat or dog to keep the other cat out!
Giselle468 0
I laughed so hard at this. I mean really?! WTF!