Today, my dog has figured out how to open screen doors on his own, by body checking them at full force, of course, like one does. This would be all fine and good, but we live by a lake with a considerable mosquito infestation. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog somehow figured out how to open the sliding glass door while I was taking a nap. I woke up to a text from my neighbor, saying, “Your damn dog is running around at the park annoying a bunch of strangers for food. You might want to come and grab her.” FML
Today, I discovered that my dog knows how to lock doors. This wouldn't have been a problem if anyone in my house every carried a key. FML
Today, I hate having bugs in the house so I covered all doors and windows in fly screen. This prevents 80% of the bugs from finding their way inside, and 100% of those from finding their way back out. FML
Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML
Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML
Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML
Today, I found out my dog is a felon. He broke into a neighbor's house by breaking in through the screen door. He also vandalized their property by shitting on their carpet. Our neighbors are now considering suing us. FML
Today, I needed to grab something from the garage. As soon as the door closed, I heard a little click sound. My one-year-old seems to have figured out the door lock. FML
Today, my dogs somehow pulled the water spigot off the wall in my backyard. I now have my own private lake. FML
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Top comments
mr_dinzaster 16
Dogs will be dogs for sure
jbuckets_404 39
It's ok, OP. Mosquitos can't easy get through dog fur, so he'll be fine!
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Comments (3)
mr_dinzaster 16
Dogs will be dogs for sure
julfunky 29
Get one of those magnet-closing door screens. They hang up and close behind you.
jbuckets_404 39
It's ok, OP. Mosquitos can't easy get through dog fur, so he'll be fine!
donb23 23
If the outdoors is so wonderful why are the bugs always trying to get in your house? - Jim Gaffigan