Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a restaurant when I made eye contact with a baby across the room. It smiled at me, so I smiled back. The baby immediately started screaming. Everyone stared at me like I'd just threatened it. FML
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML
Today, I saw a shady looking customer carrying a very suspicious looking baby stroller with a blanket on top of it. Thinking they were shoplifting, I stopped them before they walked out of the store and snatched it. The attachable car seat came off and there really was a baby in there. A real live crying baby. FML
Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we'd passed and I heard her say, "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML
Today, while vacationing, a small boy asked to see the baby I was holding, wrapped in a blanket. I showed him, and his face reflexively scrunched up. The boy's mother came and apologized to me. Her face scrunched up too. FML
Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML
Today, I tripped getting on an escalator and instinctively grabbed the nearest person to steady myself. That person was a toddler. The mom screamed, I fell anyway, and the toddler just stared at me like I’d ruined his whole week. FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, I was working as a character at an amusement park. I was walking with another character and we went over to a baby girl. She smiled and laughed at my co-worker. When she saw me, she started screaming and crying. FML
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Top comments
crzyry 6
Solution: Paper bag!
captainmarshall1 0
Now that is something I am truely jealous of!
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Comments (146)
crzyry 6
Solution: Paper bag!
Z1LVER 0
I agree
racer337 2
Babies probably aren't the only things that think ur ugly.
Snow_Daisy 7
lol @6. (: and lmFAo at the double take that baby did before screaming! HI-larious.
Aah_Zombies 0
#1, WIN.
boyguydudemalema 0
You definately need to stop smiling to babies, every time u smile a baby goes psycho and stabs a puppy to death in front of its mother.
samantha_durano 6
haha, #6 :)
babybubz 0
HAHAHA.. not funny
Darraghscoot 0
haha youbpoor bastard
Darraghscoot 0
oops im on my ipod forgive the spelling
Hanban 0
LOL at 26. That would really hurt more if the OP is planning to become a babysitter. Then again, he can use it to his advantage.
lmfao1643 3
You should pumch the next baby you see!
wooow_sucks_for_ 0
ummmmm... that's illegal.
FUDGELOVESME 0
agreed
SLKBlack96 5
babies always do that to me, but they smile and laugh instead of gasp and scream
nonotme 0
I would pay to have a face that scares babies!
jamiebuczko 0
LMFAO!
AbtractAngela 17
resting bitch face?
009yp 0
suck for u first
rowanator 0
Hehe. NOT first. And please stop trying to advertise it--everybody's fed up of spam like that.
p3rfect_ins4nity 0
ydi for being a witch!
cady2 0
ydi for being ugly! actually no. you didn't make your face ugly, your parents did. so fyl. waaaaait. it could be your fault if you had nasty teeth if you didn't brush; greasy hair if you didn't wash it; and acne if you don't take care of it. so ydi again. ps I just pictured a teenage hills have eyes charcter for some reason...
captainmarshall1 0
Now that is something I am truely jealous of!
garuru 4
you scared my baby today shame on you and your ugly face put a paper bag over your face now my baby is scared for life by your uglyness haha
Resquall 0
I wish people would type coherently on this site...
AliceSaysFYL 0
Me too
malcomx_fml 0
caution keep away from young children
PizzaTheHut 0
You need a plastic bag.
MadaZer0 8
Why plastic? Only time I would hear people using plastic is if a condom broke and that was your last alternative!
bluesclues72 0
he means that she suffocate and die in the plastic bag.
wooow_sucks_for_ 0
31 WINS!!!!
GeorgeBoosh 0
@31: paper bag condoms are used to hide the scary head
Cher_GaGa 0
epic win!!!!!
XDNurse 0
wow that's funny...
blademaster23 0
u ulgy mother *****!
susieKiute 0
haha...poor babies :(
KitAmor 0
Are you by any chance bald? Because many babies are terrified of bald people.
gorina 0
Babies have apparently been known to be critical of a person's looks and will sometimes respond more positively to someone they find attractive. FYL OP.