Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to cut class with one of my friends and we ended up going to Burger King. As we sat down at the table, I heard my name being called. My mum was getting lunch through the drive thru with my little brother and saw my car parked out front. FML
Today, I'm so skinny that I was told to, “Eat a burger.” While I was eating a burger. FML
Today, I overheard the popular kids say that they were planning on going to the local fast food restaurant to take pictures of the obese people that go there. Not only do I work there, but my family and I were planning on having dinner there tonight. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I was exhausted after a long day at work and didn't feel like cooking so I went to a drive thru. I placed my order, went to the window and paid. I then drove off without my food and didn't realize it for a couple of blocks. I was too embarrassed to go back and get it. FML
Today, I went to Jack in The Box to grab a quick hamburger. I was in a hurry, so I didn't check my order. By the time I opened the bag, I was really hungry. Unfortunately, the burger looked like a 5-year-old wrapped it, and the burger looked bitten into. FML
Today, I was sent by my mother and her boyfriend to pick up some take-out. After getting the food, I began to turn out once the traffic light was green. An asshole cop sped past the red light and slammed into my car, totaling it. When I called my house, my mom's boyfriend asked, "Where's our dinner?" I'm fine, by the way. FML
Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML
Today, I made a tasty, healthy plant-based lunch for my family. They ate a few bites, spat it out, and then went to McDonald's "to eat real food, you know, food with meat in it." FML
Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML
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Top comments
cswens25 8
Scarf away not your fault they don't know how to cook.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Just tell them you ARE watching your weight... Go up!
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Comments (67)
Kitabean18 3
Just tell her you cheated on your weight watching lol
fsomelife 26
I accidentally read this as "Today, I ate a bunch of my in-laws." Didn't seem so absurd as I kept reading.
leahmae88 7
I did as well!!
DeadxManxWalking 27
Use those carbs and workout
drkate25 30
Thanks for your comments guys! This was my latest excuse for not eating much at their house (I had a big lunch, I've got a headache that's affecting my appetite, etc). His parents are sweet as can be but I'm not a fan of his mom's cooking! Everyone else enjoys it and so I don't feel bad with using white lies to avoid it, didn't want to hurt her feelings.
Kallian_fml 21
Everyone else enjoys it? If you mean her family, maybe it's just what they're used to? I don't enjoy my mothers cooking, but I can eat it because it's what I was raised on.
leahmae88 7
I can relate with you, I've been in this situation a few times and didn't want to hurt anyone's feeling either. It's just bad luck that she saw you lol I'm sure that if you don't act guilty she'll just think you had a diet slip :)
perdix 31
Did anyone get sick from it? I know whenever I've eaten food that tastes "off," I've paid dearly for it within 4 to 24 hours.
DanielleinDC 34
Maybe you should tell your spouse that you really don't like his/her mom's cooking and that's why you don't eat it. And eat BEFORE you go.
stokkingu 8
You sound like a sweetheart!
drkate25 30
I had total guilty-face when I realized it was her. I was munching away chewing and listening to the radio when I looked over and she was staring me down. I gave a nervous wave and thankfully the light turned green. I'm sure I'll hear about it next time we go for a visit!
nayz3110 7
if you've had food poisoning or something similar before and something doesnt quite taste right, why would you wanna risk it again when you know you don't have to? FYL op
sesor 7
Cry and say you were binge eating.
sweetmama88 6
Karma is a bitch .
perdix 31
Most diets have a "cheat meal" or a "cheat day" to be a safety valve from binging after long-term depravation. Of course, the concept of consecutive "cheat weeks" is a failing one. Don't try that!
perdix 31
"and the food just ain't no good? The macaroni's soggy and the peas are mushy, and the chicken tastes like wood."
Enslaved 38
"Rappers Delight" (flashback) I said, a hip hop the hippie the hippie To the hip hip hop, a you don't stop The rock it to the bang, bang boogie Say up jumped the boogie To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat ***Reminds me of that real old lady rapping in the "Wedding Singer"
perdix 31
Hotel, motel, Holiday Inn If your girl starts acting up, then you take her frien'
KingCeltic77 18
You should've just said you weren't feeling well.