Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML
Today, I decided to pick up some breath mints. As I was checking out, the cashier informed me that if I was "planning on getting a girl to stay the night", I'd need the "stronger, more intense brand of mints". FML
Today, I was on a first date and everything was going great, until I realized I had garlic breath from the garlic bread I ate earlier. I tried covering it with a mouthful of wine, but it just made it worse. I ended up trying to avoid any closeness, and now I guess I'll just die alone. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I have chronic dry mouth due to medication. It makes my breath smell atrocious, so I got some Biotene dry mouth lozenges. I usually have constipation issues. Lately it's been the opposite. So I can either have porta-potty breath or be on the brink of shitting myself. FML
Today, a long day of work and a bad day for my mental health, I tried to relax with my wife, a movie, and a soda. After returning from using the bathroom, I took a swig to discover a particularly odorous stink bug had snuck into the can, now my mouth. FML
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
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Top comments
DalPozzo13 10
Shit happens
bbgirlXD 6
Well next time brush your teethes , instead of just covering your bad breath .
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Comments (189)
islander03 5
Damn! How stink is your breath?!?! And just when u thought you got rid of the smell on your top side here it comes out the rear end
Clamcreepy 7
Only reason I can understand you eating a whole pack of breath mints after you brushed your teeth (which I'm sure you did and just wanted to make it smell even fresher) is if you have a bad case of halitosis. if not Just brush your teeth regular throw some mouth wash in your mouth and take 1 breath mint. No for the over exaggerated breath and fresh smelling *****
2O12 6
Overdosing anything is never a good thing. /:
Supergirl2012 4
that's what ya get when you don't brush your teeth!!
mkaybabyy90 0
At least you'll still have minty fresh breath!
Enslaved 38
Overkill on those mints! Haha I've eaten a whole roll of Breath Savers and never had any problems. Perhaps it's also a combination of being nerves? That can also cause stomach problems. (:
EndGame907 3
Agree I usually have stomach problems when I'm too busy being nerves.
skittlesmeep 4
Sugar free breath mints are sweet cause the sweetener is a laxative.. lol sucks for you
joyc3 10
Why the heck would you even do that??? If you did not have time to brush your teeth (ew), what made you think that eating the whole pack of mints would be good? A few pieces is enough... Sorry, but YDI, OP...
grenj 8
That's your own fault
thisblowsaton 4
Why not just brush your teeth, and use mouthwash? Bring some gum?