Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML
Today, I decided to pick up some breath mints. As I was checking out, the cashier informed me that if I was "planning on getting a girl to stay the night", I'd need the "stronger, more intense brand of mints". FML
Today, I was on a first date and everything was going great, until I realized I had garlic breath from the garlic bread I ate earlier. I tried covering it with a mouthful of wine, but it just made it worse. I ended up trying to avoid any closeness, and now I guess I'll just die alone. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I have chronic dry mouth due to medication. It makes my breath smell atrocious, so I got some Biotene dry mouth lozenges. I usually have constipation issues. Lately it's been the opposite. So I can either have porta-potty breath or be on the brink of shitting myself. FML
Today, a long day of work and a bad day for my mental health, I tried to relax with my wife, a movie, and a soda. After returning from using the bathroom, I took a swig to discover a particularly odorous stink bug had snuck into the can, now my mouth. FML
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
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Top comments
DalPozzo13 10
Shit happens
bbgirlXD 6
Well next time brush your teethes , instead of just covering your bad breath .
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Comments (189)
jclawkward 4
Looks like your ex filled your mint tin with laxatives...I'm gunna use that one!
MissHalfBreed 0
Your breath must really stink if you have to take a whole pack of mints.
HunterAlpha1 8
alternatively you could've brushed your teeth then gargled with scope. i give this a firm YDI. eating too much nutrasweet will make you sick, you've got to have known that already.
hello_jules 8
There's these great things called "toothbrush" and "toothpaste". You should try it sometime.
megamandude455 10
Oh nice. You know your only supposed to eat one right? Or chew peppermint gum.
megamandude455 10
That was also supposed to have "right op?" at the end >_
victoriakarsynn 0
Tooth brushes don't give you the *****.... Just a thought
fyourlives1512 1
You should have just Bruges your teeth or swished some mouthwash around..YDI
je1222 1
You deserved it big time. How did you think that the more you eat the better your breath will get? Two or three is enough. Bad logic.
stoych 19
Most mints contain something you called Sorbitol, especially those really little, breath freshener ones. Sorbitol is a mild laxative, I found this out the hard way too.
sassytappy89 0
If ur teeth haven't been brushed enough to make u need a whole thing of mints that date was bound to end in failure anyhow due to yellow teeth stains from lack of hygiene.