Today, I asked the 7-year-old that I was babysitting if he could burp on command. He said he could, and began to demonstrate. It turns out he couldn't purposely burp, but he definitely could vomit on command. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the nine year old girl I was babysitting got the hiccups, so I told her to drink some water upside down to cure them. She ended up vomiting on the floor. FML
Today, my 7-month-old spit up on the floor. My 3-year-old puts their hands in it, sniffed, and puked. Then sticks their hands in their own puke, sniffed, and puked again. FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I recently taught my 6 year-old son that, to be polite, you have to pretend you haven't noticed if someone farts. Now it embarrassingly just happened to me, and he shouted with a big smile, "See? I'm pretending I didn't hear it!" FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
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Top comments
saIty 17
Vomiting on command... not a bad skill to have. I mean let's say you there's a person bothering you, so to get that person to leave you alone all you have to do is vomit on that person! P.S. for all of you who don't have this amazing skill just use Jenna Marbles "face" to repel those annoying people
reallytho3 11
That kid has talent
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Comments (72)
Patrickstarfish 0
Bitch please............,
inventindascene 5
Now clean it up on command
KiddNYC1O 22
My friend's then 3 year old sister used to burp on command. I thought it was amusing and cute.
rcgirl2 11
Now you have a mess to clean up. YDI
DoubleBlumpkin 4
Tell him he needs to remove the penis before burping on command, that way he won't gag.
doodlecloud 27
Why would you ask him that? Unless you were talking about it before I don't know why you would want to encourage that kind of behaviour...even if it doesn't bother you that doesn't mean it's something the parents want to encourage. In any case F the kids life not yours.
dsl1123 8
You think that's cool ? When my daughter was like 10 years old she could fart on demand. That was a neat trick to show my friends.
lamml 0
omg lmfao
BntyHntrSeattle 30
I don't care what you did- nobody deserves to be thrown up on. Sorry, OP! :(
metalwolf 17
Look on the bright side, he has a get out of school free card. Just make sure you teach him not to over use it or else it stops working.