Today, I asked the 7-year-old that I was babysitting if he could burp on command. He said he could, and began to demonstrate. It turns out he couldn't purposely burp, but he definitely could vomit on command. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the nine year old girl I was babysitting got the hiccups, so I told her to drink some water upside down to cure them. She ended up vomiting on the floor. FML
Today, my 7-month-old spit up on the floor. My 3-year-old puts their hands in it, sniffed, and puked. Then sticks their hands in their own puke, sniffed, and puked again. FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I recently taught my 6 year-old son that, to be polite, you have to pretend you haven't noticed if someone farts. Now it embarrassingly just happened to me, and he shouted with a big smile, "See? I'm pretending I didn't hear it!" FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
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Top comments
saIty 17
Vomiting on command... not a bad skill to have. I mean let's say you there's a person bothering you, so to get that person to leave you alone all you have to do is vomit on that person! P.S. for all of you who don't have this amazing skill just use Jenna Marbles "face" to repel those annoying people
reallytho3 11
That kid has talent
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Comments (72)
feelingfree27 7
At least you know for next time.
Pelvispresley 8
That's even better!
alphaskater09 9
What were you hoping to gain from that knowledge?
TriflingAllDay 6
I don't like your tone of voice Tom.
FYLDeep 26
I'm not sure what to think. It sounds kinda cool, but can he hit all the letters of the alphabet and at different pitches?
TheDrifter 24
Possibly not, but with appropiate diet and training he might be able to write a single letter in every color of the rainbow using his talent.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Well, I can't burp at all if it makes you feel better. Well I guess you were trying to have a little fun with the kid, and it didn't go as planned.
perdix 31
If he asks you to play "Pull My Finger," don't do it.
hockeyoceancity 13
Oh shit, that kid would be a nightmare...
Hiphuray4peas 27
Could have called that one!
Brilliant66star 17
Now you know some of the right questions to ask a 7yr old in your charge... Or at least you know which ones NOT to ask. The odd thing is, wouldn't you think a kid that age whom you're babysitting would try hard to impress you whether he can burp on command or not??? A solid YDI on this one..!
Lionesse 15
You have realize that kids spew liquids from all areas.. You are in a permanent splash zone while you are around kids sometimes. But you started this one so.. Lol.
TheJester12 15
you'd be surprised how fast kids grow up when they're forced to consume their own vomit :D ...... no? ok maybe I just had a ****** up childhood .