Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I fed my dog his dinner of chicken offal, a drumstick, a wing, a mackerel, and a raw egg, my dad bitched and moaned that I waste money feeding him meat instead of just buying the cheapest kibble at the store. FML
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML
Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML
Today, I gave my dad $40 and asked him if he could get me lunch on his way back home. Long story short, he came back empty handed telling me it was my fault for trusting him with McNuggets. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition. My parents seemed very sympathetic and my mother even cried. When we got home, though, they started laughing and asked if I really believed all the shit the doctor was talking about. FML
Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML
Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML
Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because, "It's chicken, not salmon." FML
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Top comments
zAstonish 20
I don't know about the chickens, but you may have been raised brainless.
classicsparkles 17
Because it makes sense for an animal to not have bones.
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Comments (87)
zAstonish 20
I don't know about the chickens, but you may have been raised brainless.
Nevermind212 11
No shame.. It is the new generation in the United States
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Every generation has idiots... It's also not just in the US. Quit with the "new generation" shit. Please and thank you.
slackerjoe 22
It seems that every generation the population gets a little softer, a little more dependant on government and have a little less character/integrity all around. And if you don't believe me, just ask your grandparents.
Mysterious_one 26
#1: u deserve an escalope
russfml 31
"I know how ya feel, I once lost a game of checkers to a chicken". Just reminded me of that great Simpsons quote lol
82681 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It's alright op, being trusting isn't a bad quality! Your father shouldn't abuse your trust.
brand125 17
being too trusting IS a bad quality, dont know what youre talking about. for example, the fml we just read. although that plays into having common sense, too. "hey come over to my secluded van, i have candy"
Xivion 19
Oh boy!!! You have candy!?!? ...she is always such a nice girl.
rocker_chick23 27
#2: How is being too trusting a good thing? Many murder victims had family members say that the victims trusted everyone.
B1ackthesun 31
I'm with #9 it's most certainly a bad trait. Always keep a polite level of scepticism until your own research into the subject confirms either way. Sure your family shouldn't abuse trust. But let's face it in the big bad world how many people are you NOT related to? So potentially you have how many people willing to screw you over? It's part of your families 'job' to help you realise this. The fact is people can spend weeks, months, even YEARS gaining your trust just to screw you over... You should always trust yourself above others, sometimes even above those you love. Sad but true. Op got tested and failed big time. simple as that.
chrishaaansen 13
#2 you miss are an idiot
Brandi_Faith 34
Not to mention that you can be easily scammed money wise If you're too trusting.
Googolman 29
This isn't really a matter of trust. More like common sense.
littleteapot 21
#9 but everyone knows strangers have the best candy.
shessohighh 10
It's not bad to trust your own family (in most cases). I think this FML is more about lack of common sense.
jademerald 6
Ok but the difference is you're talking about strangers and they're talking about family. Being trusting is NOT a bad quality because being distrustful all the time just pushes peole away.
zykrithium 22
Being trusting isn't necessarily a bad quality. But being an idiot is.
Wizardo 34
Clucking hell, its either you're that gullible or your dad has finger licking good story telling skills.
classicsparkles 17
Because it makes sense for an animal to not have bones.
Welshite 40
Jellyfish... Octopus... Basically all invertebrates...
piedpiper303 29
#7 but chickens are vertebrates
ohSNAPyall 27
Probably thinking of things like seedless watermelons.
classicsparkles 17
8, thank you. 20, It isn't a stretch of the imagination to see a watermelon without seeds growing (though one may have easily googled questions about how they might come about) but can you imagine a vertebrate somehow sustaining life without bones? You never get cow bones in burgers but do you imagine there are these gelatinous bone free cow balls rolling through pastures? Just think of the injuries it would sustain on its own hooves, or in a chicken's case, claws.
A7XCamaro 19
25- I had never imagined that before, but thank you for putting the image of rolling "cow ball" in my head. It is quite comical.
weveallbeenthere 30
I was thinking about that too. need to have a perfectly flat pasture and use a giant fan to blow them around the yard.
TacoMan32 21
This FML reminds me of the ASDF movie; "It says gullible on the ceiling!" "Oh, so it does-oh you stole my lungs."
ImTheAlpha 30
Is that where that came from? my old Boys and Girls Club had a ceiling tile with gullible painted in orange. it was hilarious trying to point it out to people xD
Sandman366 6
Have you seen the baby? "No, I think he went outside." (Lady runs off.) "You fool!"
expertsmilee 26
Cousin Boneless!
ajs1987 15
That would be one awkward looking chicken-blob.
shortswimmer17 28
Don't worry you aren't the only one. I'm amazed at what my dad gets my 19 year old brother to believe.
InsanePPG 25
I once told my mom that the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary, not expecting her to believe it. She believed it until I started laughing.
granCanyon 12
This has to be a troll.