Today, I asked a girl I liked for her number, but she claimed she had a broken phone and was getting a new one for Christmas. Unhinged, I go home and go onto Facebook. First thing I see is her status: "Why is no one answering my calls?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me on Facebook to stop calling/texting her because she lost her phone. Right under her post was "sent from Facebook for iPhone." FML
Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my Facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via Facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML
Today, my girlfriend was in a pissy mood because she said none of her friends have been texting to check on her lately since she changed her number. I asked if she gave the new number out. She said that no, she wanted to see who cared enough to call and ask for her new number. She doesn’t get it. FML
Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML
Today, my phone decided to delete all my numbers. I posted on Facebook that people should message or text me if they felt like I should have their number. I didn't get a single reply. FML
Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML
Today, I fucked up when I answered a phone call. I wasn't sure who the number was at first, and it turned out to be my ex girlfriend who had apparently been stalking me. She asked me how my new girlfriend was, and as I answered it in front of my girlfriend, she's now depressed. FML
Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her "Hey, is this Stephanie?" I got response saying "Sorry bro, I know how you feel, she did the same thing to me." FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
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Top comments
xenomorph 0
No one's answering her calls --> her phone may be broken
Elf_My_Life 0
Suck to be you. xP How do you know it isn't her home phone she's talking about eh?
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Comments (149)
fmyalarmclock 0
She's probably not worth it anyway.
Rebecca1993 0
Definitely not, if she's that stupid. Is she a blonde? lol. not to offend any blondes...
AlexZB 0
are you hinged now?
The_Pleb 0
Blonde jokes are so over used, unfunny and old And yet people cry and moan over my sammich jokes Well **** you and make us a sammich
Reyo 2
That's when you say "Maybe it's broken...or where you just lieing about that part?"
8trickster8 0
Holy crap pleb, every single one of your posts has something about a "sammich". HURR HURR HURR ITS NOT FUNNY THE 30TH TIME. You're like the people who are too boring to come up with jokes (or any kind of humour at all) of their own so they constantly say lines from movies.
did_it_4_lulz 0
@#3 that was my first guess!
StaticDown 0
lol I would have totally said that to see her reaction...
awkwardturtley 0
58- I'll make you a sammich but there may be traces of arsenic... ;)
FailBear920 19
Learn the score bwo!
Elf_My_Life 0
Suck to be you. xP How do you know it isn't her home phone she's talking about eh?
AmeOwl 0
It doesn't matter if it's her home phone. She could've given him that number. Still OP, it's not the end of the world that a girl doesn't want to give you her number. And if you had to immediately stalk her to prove that it was an excuse, she probably made the right call.
DomK 0
I think most girls prefer to share cell nos so that parents dont come in between.
morella_xx 29
Exactly this. She could probably tell you were a creeper, hence why you didn't get her number. Immediately stalking someone who rejected you online =/= normal. Although, did it occur to you that perhaps no one is answering her calls because her phone is broken?
pancakes_n_syrup 0
Or maybe she was using another phone besides her own..one she is only using for emergency calls or something? Why is this FML?
ZuRG_fml 7
#11, I'm not certain OP had crossed into creeper status at that point. Checking a person's facebook as plan B because their phone is broken is not unreasonable. Not OP's fault that she lied instead of just saying she wasn't interested.
your_face 15
He didn't even necessarily check her page - her status could have just been on his home page when he logged on. Not creeping. And I agree that maybe no one was answering her calls because the phone was broken. She could have posted that earlier, before she figured out something was wrong with the phone, and it had only just shown up on his news feed. I've seen a status on my friend's profile that showed up in my news feed a day later. So he's not necessarily stalking, and she's not necessarily lying.
fmylifegurl 0
my phone was stolen a couple weeks ago and whenevera guy asked for my # i told them my phine was stolen because i dont like talking to guys on the housephone since people can easily listen in so she mightve been telling the truth either way who cares
Fabby_fml 2
Being friends with someone on Facebook = stalking?
wh4t3v3R 0
It is, I'm stalking 130people or so right now. OP: Maybe no one is answering her phone calls cause her phone is broke? I've really had that happen to me, except nobody wants my number. FML.
Nutz321 0
11 that's exactly what I was thinking
cameron_natasha 0
What does OP mean???
Ninjasaurus18 9
"first thing I see..." That's what he first saw on the news feed. Not her profile.
_FYL_ 0
Awhh whatta bitch! I agree with #1 ! [:
v1kt4r 13
ever heard of a home phone, benefit of the doubt people
Rebecca1993 0
Ha actually I didn't think of that.. I guess it's cause I don't have a house phone. We just all have cell phones.. T-Mobile family plan, for the win! :b
Elf_My_Life 0
Exactly.
thinmint 0
well she's not worth it if she isn't secure enough with herself to just say no thanks you cannot have my number.
xenomorph 0
No one's answering her calls --> her phone may be broken
Rebecca1993 0
How is she calling people if her phone is broken?
sadistmonkey 19
Well maybe she's not. Maybe her phone is acting like it's making the call but it actually isn't.
Six_and_the_Moon 3
This is where my brain went, as well.
Devikarawr 0
#13 gots the right answer. i think she was basically saying how shes trying to call people but its not working?
MagicMeds 0
I was wondering when I would find someone who said this! She probably made the status before she realized it was broken.
jcrispen 0
I'm with you all. I was thinking the exact thing. And I'm also curious, if you have her on your FB friends list to see statuses, why do you NEED her phone number?
boreddoubletears 0
It's just a tad more personal. Here's how it goes: strangers--> facebook friends--> acquaintances--> phone number--> friends--> hanging out in person--> good friends. Tadah!
lovinlife4 0
hello there are still a such thing as house phones
ashleysmashleyyy 0
she's getting what she deserves then!
Rebecca1993 0
I don't think this is really that complicated.. I think she just didn't want to hurt the OP's feelings, So she said her phone was broken. Can any girl really say they've never done something like that to keep from disappointing a guy?
shortmomma88 0
she could be calling people from a friend's phone or her parents' home phone and no one is answering bc they dont recognize the number. on the other hand, she probably isn't worth your time if she wasn't willing to get your number instead.