Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML
Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
Today, my father was cussing loudly because he lost at a Clash Royale game. He then blamed it on me for not sending him cards, and threatened to delete me from all his social media accounts. Dad, I love you, but you're downright insane. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, I got dragged into playing doubles tennis. It was me and my wife against her parents. I wound up hitting the ball too hard. My mother-in-law, who has the reaction times of a comatose turtle, got nailed. Everyone's convinced I did it on purpose because of our mutual hatred of each other. FML
Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML
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Top comments
SomeBossOnHere 5
Ouch... Holding a bit of a grudge huh?
FMLandurstoo 9
Just get out of the ******* way then!
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Comments (118)
French_Toast_fml 3
Maybe you should accidentally trip him from the sidelines.
fatnesspig 7
I'm amazed you have family lacrosse games. That's pretty awesome.
AFloppyWetWhale 6
Yeah really. I love lacrosse, so if my family had one of those, I'd be overjoyed.
mattykent3 4
It would be the coolest thing ever
Justy101 23
Your father has some serious issues.
igive 29
it's fair game now OP, rain a world of hurt on him with your mighty launching skills!
mattykent3 4
*The words you may be looking for are as follows: cranking, shooting, throwing, or passing.
gurly98 13
I feel so bad
igive 29
it's fair game now. launch one as hard as you can in the nads. he already has a kid anyway
McNerdyNerd 8
Op, you really should be happy your family does things together. If you didn't want to be in it, don't be a whiny bi-atch about it! And maybe he told you that because you were slagging around. Neither of you handled it well. But really. It's a family function. Pretend you care.
CaramelMacchiato 13
There's only so much you can write in an FML. We don't know anything about OP, nor their family. For all we know, her family can be a bunch of total 'bi-atches'.
Oxonian3 8
Payback 101 xD
furry_fml 6
You're lucky you're not dead because I was a goalie and even with pads you can get you're breath knocked out of you
godlike1 5
Your*
MassaKerr 9
You're**
XtraEzeee 8
Kids, kids, you're both just awful.
godlike1 5
The second you're should be your.
angelofsaturn 23
#99 I think you meant the third you're.
mattykent3 4
I feel your pain.
mattykent3 4
49, are you retarded?
benikki 0
**** that i would grab that ball and whip that shit at him and say sorry yu was in my way..