Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, my family are really into rugby so I tried out for a local team. It didn't go well, and afterwards I couldn’t find my dad anywhere. It turns out he was so embarrassed by my sheer incompetence, he got in his car and drove away. I had to walk 9 miles home, which isn’t easy in rugby boots. FML
Today, I accidentally tackled my own teammate during a rugby match, so our coach made me walk the 5 miles back home instead of driving me home with the rest of the team. FML
Today, my dad threw my boyfriend into the street naked. We weren’t even having sex, I was fully dressed in the kitchen, and my boyfriend was showering after his rugby game. My dad is also his teammate, and it was all a stupid prank by the team. I hate jocks sometimes. FML
Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML
Today, my father was cussing loudly because he lost at a Clash Royale game. He then blamed it on me for not sending him cards, and threatened to delete me from all his social media accounts. Dad, I love you, but you're downright insane. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, at dinner, I stumbled over the words of the prayer and my dad is now convinced I’m losing interest in my religious responsibilities. To “bring me back to the Lord” he is trying to force me to break up with my girlfriend and quit the rugby team. FML
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Top comments
cgguardian 17
This is where you play the "MOOOOOOOM!!!" card.
ICastillo 25
That's some good old fashioned tough love. Get back on the field and slam his ass back.
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Comments (50)
OhDearBetrayal 25
Go hard or go home must be his motto. I think it's amusing to play with people like that. It makes games more interesting.
XxDevilxXGt 26
Slamming your son and calling him an accident to win a sports game... Not so much amusing as it is extreme and uncalled for!
docscientist 10
It makes games more annoying and boring when people act like hypercompetitive brats.
mb2_native 15
Unless all the same people are in one match, then that is just awesome and fun to watch. Me and my brothers are really competitive when it comes to grappling or 'slapping fight', I highly recommend the slapping fight, just hit with an open hand instead, ya feel it more than a fist, I'll tell u that much haha
TheStoryOfWazza 9
Ever heard of trash talk? It's part of every sport, stop being a sook beat him on the field that's how you get you answer...
tiptoppc 21
Ahh… Rugby. The only sport where you can break a leg on the field, have to crawl your ass off of it by yourself, while your teammates play over/around you. Wish football in the USA was like that. Granted, we aren’t as bad as European “Futball”. Those pansies will cry if they get touched by a running leaf to the pinky.
DEATHBYEX1LE 11
Well, he's rather competitive.
cgguardian 17
This is where you play the "MOOOOOOOM!!!" card.
TylerBurden 21
Attack: 1000, Defense: 1000. Effect:When you activate the mother card, all other players lose the game.
Abantiquo 7
"Muuuuuum" card. Aussies.
theannonymousone 0
41, you are a comedic genius! LOL!
Orion_Knight78 10
Yugioh? If so, 1000 is weak, and attribute, type, and level?
DragonPorn 15
Level 10 Fusion monster. ATK: 4500. DEF:4500 Effect: When attacked face down, this monster resets the playing field and returns all monsters from the Graveyard and play back to the deck. (Fiber Jar) FUUUU
madisonnnnn13 11
Good old fashioned family bonding
TheNewGuy03 29
It's a real-life Family Feud. Montagues and Capulets. You name it, it's all there.
ICastillo 25
That's some good old fashioned tough love. Get back on the field and slam his ass back.
xGolfWangx 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Kill yourself
LukeE45 10
Why would you even bother posting this comment?...
obnint 3
Next he'll say tackling you was a "goddamned accident"
klovemachine 24
Your dad deserves to be body slammed for using God's name in vain :(
Shrike 24
Yeah, I'm sure the Prince of Peace would approve of bodyslamming people over his dad's fragile ego. Seems legit.
newbiehere99 6
I see Jesus ... I see bodyslamming ... I see a scripture that fits this!!! "... the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force. (KIng James translation) "... Time to bodyslam a hoe and score some points. (FML translation) Disclaimer: FML is not a real translation of the Bible for those that attempt to look for it .. I know there's always one person out there ...
klovemachine 24
I see that my humor has went over everyone's head :-) seriously, he shouldn't use GOD'S name in vain
Frankenstein611 10
God damn it!! Whoops i said the so called "god's" name in vain haha
SummonerMaenad 22
And this is why I don't play any kind of sport with my family...
fmlforreal92 8
wow what a sore loser.