Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend is so ashamed of me that when someone asked how far along my pregnancy is, he quickly replied "5 months now!" instead of telling them I'm not actually pregnant. FML
Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
Today, I was proudly telling my husband that I only gained 8 lbs throughout the pregnancy thus far. I usually obsess over my weight, so it was a great accomplishment for me. He then turned and pinched my arms, saying, "Well, looks like all the fat migrated to your arms." FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
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Top comments
rosha267 21
Your pregnant! What's his excuse?
SkoomaKi 28
Oh never insult a woman, especially if she's pregnant... OP give him hell.
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Comments (177)
DerekCorbett 18
That's insensitive. But come on, you have to admit it's kinda funny
septemberpeaches 8
Have you tried talking to him to prevent future remarks? I had to smack my husband into shape lol!
abbyabb 4
Mabey he was kidding... Just tell him why your upset
stash01 0
My baby's almost 3-months-old - so my craziness during my pregnancy is still fresh in my mind. Your husband just needs to learn that, no matter what, when you're upset with him he shouldn't ask why, he should just say sorry. It's easier that way. Hang in there, you will soon be able to laugh at yourself again.
123_omg 19
Ur husband's a meanie! I always call myself a fatty and he says "you're not fat, your pregnant". I'm 2 days from being 27 weeks pregnant, so just a little over 6 months myself....I just recently started lactating too. It's icky. woke up in the middle of the night with a nice big wet spot on my nightgown and a pillow I hug at night. totally natural, but still sorta gross!! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy! and I'm sure you do NOT look like a fat piggy or a cow. HOW RUDE!
MigraineurOfLife 15
... & the "Dumb Ass Remark of the day" goes too-- OPs husband!!! Johnny, what prizes do we have for him. Well... Here we have an old broken down doghouse complete with a leaky roof, dirt floors & that fresh wet-dog aroma. Mmmmm... Cant you just smell it? Your new home for the next 3 months comes with plenty of fleas to keep you company. You'll never have a dull moment as you scratch your time away.
jenth 2
Haha.. The perfect example of men's simplicity:P
fuckmebutdontfml 16
he should watch out, the only thing more dangerous than a woman scorn is a pregant woman scorn
FluffyKitty2all 1
Congratulations!! He is just stupid, men don't realize they hurt a women's feelings until you either tell them or give them the silent treatment.
FluffyKitty2all 1
I meant on almost being a mother
xtalondriver 14
Tell him the milk is sweet.