Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend is so ashamed of me that when someone asked how far along my pregnancy is, he quickly replied "5 months now!" instead of telling them I'm not actually pregnant. FML
Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
Today, I was proudly telling my husband that I only gained 8 lbs throughout the pregnancy thus far. I usually obsess over my weight, so it was a great accomplishment for me. He then turned and pinched my arms, saying, "Well, looks like all the fat migrated to your arms." FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
rosha267 21
Your pregnant! What's his excuse?
SkoomaKi 28
Oh never insult a woman, especially if she's pregnant... OP give him hell.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (177)
jannielovesjack 0
Oh and by the way I know very much on this topic for my parents split when I was ten because my dad abused my sister, mother, and I. My sister is also single, has twins, and does everything on her own now, except that I babysit my nieces on the weekends. Now have an excellent day.
nvo 6
Talk to other women who have been pregnant. Men just can't relate, and your guy seems exceptionally disconnrcted
HunterAlpha1 8
you need to grow a thicker skin, OP. parents who can't take a joke generally end up drowning their children in the bathtub.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Obviously you've never been pregnant. Easier said than done, bub.
cheer4everever 0
He's not even smart enough to think its hormones?
at0micmin3r 23
Quit playing hard to get and TELL HIM WHY. Men aren't mind readers, you know. YDI.
Nini101 2
I wonder if you had explained it to him, even when its not our hormones we expect them to know why we are mad and they have no clue because men don't think about what they say or do, but then again they can't read our minds, but I hope you didn't take your anger out on him and if you did, it probably was funny as hell.
darktapiocaboi 0
No reason to be upset. He called you an animal that weighs a small fraction of a cow. He basically said you aren't as bad as you think you are. He's a nice guy.
matthewiverson 7
You're pregnant you're supposed to be fat. F
GlitterAngel 8
Are you a cop? If not, that's harsh..