Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Milkmaid
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Belly bounce!
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Comedic timing
Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend is so ashamed of me that when someone asked how far along my pregnancy is, he quickly replied "5 months now!" instead of telling them I'm not actually pregnant. FML
Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
Bingo wings
Today, I was proudly telling my husband that I only gained 8 lbs throughout the pregnancy thus far. I usually obsess over my weight, so it was a great accomplishment for me. He then turned and pinched my arms, saying, "Well, looks like all the fat migrated to your arms." FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
Top comments
rosha267 21
Your pregnant! What's his excuse?
SkoomaKi 28
Oh never insult a woman, especially if she's pregnant... OP give him hell.
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Comments (177)
OffToTheGayBar 9
I'm pretty sure a cow weighs more than a pig. Therefore, he was complimenting you.
xoxotati 1
I didn't know you could repost something.... This has already been on here
iloveonionrings 2
Hey OP, I'm sure he was just joking. He married you because he loves you. And pregnant women tend to be emotional and insecure because of the hormone changes in the body. Things such as crying may even be a side effet of extra oestrogen that the body's producing during pregnancy.
icallbullshit 3
Women do this all the time, joke about being ugly or fat to someone close secretly hoping for a compliment like 'baby you're more beautiful than ever' if you didn't want him to joke around like he assumed you were then don't joke around yourself.
ClosetTroll 10
Is it that hard to comprehend what lactation is? She compared herself to a cow because of obvious reasons. Not because she felt fat.
Sugah_Shane1 2
A cow has several hundred pounds on a pig. He was trying to make you feel better.
lovedmom 6
My boyfriend would refrence me to a cow. I'd ask a question and he'd say "noooo" that sounded like moo. Needless to say he spent my last trimester on the couch.
NoKittyMyPotPie 3
Tell your husband why you are upset.
Candice0687 0
I'm sure he was joking but that is still really insensitive of him to say your not a cow or a pig your pregnant there's a difference.
CharliesCool2084 8
This made me laugh, some men don't have a clue how to speak to women.
GogoTheGreat 12
You're upset because you're pregnant.