Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend is so ashamed of me that when someone asked how far along my pregnancy is, he quickly replied "5 months now!" instead of telling them I'm not actually pregnant. FML
Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
Today, I was proudly telling my husband that I only gained 8 lbs throughout the pregnancy thus far. I usually obsess over my weight, so it was a great accomplishment for me. He then turned and pinched my arms, saying, "Well, looks like all the fat migrated to your arms." FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
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Top comments
rosha267 21
Your pregnant! What's his excuse?
SkoomaKi 28
Oh never insult a woman, especially if she's pregnant... OP give him hell.
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Comments (177)
ClosetTroll 10
Same with the comment posted here. I don't see it. I'll just look away while you fix things.
DocBastard 40
That ass deserves to moove to the cowch tonight. Don't even think about bacon him a pie or a cake for a while until he realises his misteak. He may think he was being a ham, but really he's just toink with your emotions.
rachface88 1
I'm fairly certain you just became my favorite person to ever walk the planet.
SignUpisntcool 3
At first I was wondering why you were spelling that way, but then I got it.
Trisha_aus 15
No bacon for him
j_cat187 20
So if you where flying a heli, would that make you a porkchopper?
Discombobulated9 12
Perhaps I'm quite blunt in nature, but every woman knows they're going to look fat when they're pregnant. I KNOW I'll look seriously huge when I'm pregnant, but I'm not going to get upset about it and will probably joke about my size myself. At the end of the day, it's only for a short duration and it's totally worth it. I think every woman should knock paranoia about her size whilst pregnant, as it's futile to do anything other. But, that's just my personal opinion.
hateevryone 15
Smh
swag66 0
Lol
bebefer 8
I agree with number four, and I'm female myself.
ClosetTroll 10
OP never made any remarks about her weight. She said she was lactating and that's what made her feel like a cow. You know what lactation is, right?
charnar 0
Divorce that dick