Nice try

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

I'm a weirdoooooo

Today, I sent a text to the girl I like, asking if she wanted to "hang out." Autocorrect changed it to "hand out," and she responded by asking what I was handing out. I panicked and replied, "My love." Now she thinks I'm a weirdo. FML

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

Freudian slip

Today, I accidentally sent a text message meant for my best friend to my boss. The text was about how much I hated my job and my boss's constant micromanagement. FML

Poopy

Today, my girlfriend had an "accident" at home. She texted me about it. I tried to lightly tease her and sent a comment about her shitting her pants… to the family group chat by mistake. I'm currently writing my last will and testament. FML

The more you know

Today, my man learned that "boner" used to mean "mistake." Now he won't stop referring to every mistake someone makes as a "boner", laughing like a hyena every single time. FML

Been there, done that

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe." FML

Just a prank, again

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML