Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I really had to pee so I took the only stall that was available in the bathroom: the handicapped stall. A girl in a wheelchair came in seconds later and cursed at me for taking her designated spot. FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, I had no choice but to use a public bathroom. I have issues going when there are others in the stalls, and apparently another person did as well. We both sat there in silence, waiting stubbornly for the other to give up and leave so we could go. It’s been 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
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Top comments
karlcolt45 19
be proud of your stream, young Seabiscuit. it's really nothing to be embarrassed about
pepsi_ftw 13
You should have neighed. Awe well I hope you feel less self conscious :)
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Comments (82)
PeriodCrampsSuck 6
This is why I don't pee in public..
jerro95 1
That's why I don't poo in public bathrooms unless its an emergency
Cilleemaan 4
Lay some tissue paper on the water before you pee, it will absorb some of the sound.
israa_alhasani94 12
People can be so immature
sammyjo06 14
Don't worry about her, OP. She clearly has issues if she pays that much attention to the sound of you peeing. If you're really that self-conscious, rip off a strip of toilet paper, fold it up, and drop it in before you go. It'll help absorb some of the sound. But really, it's fine. Don't even think about it.
MozillaHostile 21
Pee off to the side, next to the water. I call it "ninja pissing"
tomatera101 15
I can't even poop in a public bathroom, if I was a guy I think I wouldn't pee in public because they only have stalls and my shy bladder wouldn't give!
Ascendanthive 9
What exactly is a racehorse noise?
404wan 19
i used to have a problem with peeing in public restrooms. then i went to the restroom with a college Classmate and she peed like a racehorse. it was amazing and now im not self conscious about it anymore. pee loud and free other Awkward young women!