Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I really had to pee so I took the only stall that was available in the bathroom: the handicapped stall. A girl in a wheelchair came in seconds later and cursed at me for taking her designated spot. FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, I had no choice but to use a public bathroom. I have issues going when there are others in the stalls, and apparently another person did as well. We both sat there in silence, waiting stubbornly for the other to give up and leave so we could go. It’s been 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
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Top comments
karlcolt45 19
be proud of your stream, young Seabiscuit. it's really nothing to be embarrassed about
pepsi_ftw 13
You should have neighed. Awe well I hope you feel less self conscious :)
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Comments (82)
Thruan 5
Learn to aim...
lazy_girl 12
Not easy for girls...
Thruan 5
It's not that hard either.
dontpanic_fml 32
It's hard; try to live life independent of the petty remarks made by people so hollow in their own lives that they must cut away at strangers. To this day I can't use water fountains without being self conscious due to constant mocking remarks about my drinking technique made by a teacher of mine in elementary school. I hope you know though that miserable remarks by strangers don't mean anything.
hanymandy 6
Just pee slower then it will be quieter
KiddNYC1O 22
I hate it when people breath heavy or stand next to me at the urinals.
Jemm_fml 29
1. cover water in bowl with toilet paper 2. pee quietly 3. ??? 4. PROFIT
thew_fml 14
the problem isn't yours, it's the idiot in the next stall's. don't let their neurosis effect your life
emimimi 8
When I'm in the bathroom I usually don't listen to how loud people pee
lovelyohhmee 8
I would of told her bitch stfu do your business because I'm trying to do mines.
MandySkittles 18
Look at it this way.. If the ONLY complaint people have about you is how loudly you pee, you must be a pretty awesome person!
interesting33 37
Peeing loudly is normal and fine!! And that sounds like it was the girl's problem - not yours - as most people would not be so rude.