Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I really had to pee so I took the only stall that was available in the bathroom: the handicapped stall. A girl in a wheelchair came in seconds later and cursed at me for taking her designated spot. FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, I had no choice but to use a public bathroom. I have issues going when there are others in the stalls, and apparently another person did as well. We both sat there in silence, waiting stubbornly for the other to give up and leave so we could go. It’s been 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
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Top comments
karlcolt45 19
be proud of your stream, young Seabiscuit. it's really nothing to be embarrassed about
pepsi_ftw 13
You should have neighed. Awe well I hope you feel less self conscious :)
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Comments (82)
lazy_girl 12
People really need to learn how to use their verbal filters because apparently, they feel the need to tell you exactly what they think of your pee volume... like their opinion on the matter MUST be heard! How bored can these people possibly be with themselves if they can't seem to mind their own business? They're rude, and inconsiderate... FYL for sure!
billyz77 24
Well said, 58. That's a situation where it's best that people keep their thoughts to themselves.
interesting33 37
Yes I agree with you 58!
Omniprism 15
Geez who does that? Every person is different. Next time tell them to eff of and mind their own business.
TacoBelle 8
Tell them if they don't shut up you will pee into a cup and pour it on them. People shouldn't be so rude and you shouldn't have to be afraid of going to the bathroom.
Satoaoi 13
I don't use public restrooms. they can't be trusted lol
VolleyAly 14
Look up Mark Elliot... He spoke at my school and should make you feel a little bit better!
Chappers10 1
Hahaha! You got to admit though, pretty witty of her to come up with horse noises
simoncat 11
Wow. SOME people just can't figure out how that thought filter works. What dumbfucks. I'm sorry that insensitive people mentioned something so intimate and so ridiculously stupid to comment on...thinking it their business. Racehorse noises? Yeah, maybe you should've whinnied or neighed- she started the idiocy. Better yet, kick in her stall.
Rawdawgg11 4
Man Pee. Always Makes Noise.
waytogonutball 2
I would have farted and told her to put that in her pipe and smoke it.
Little_Lamb_fml 13
What the hell?!? What is she the pee monitor?