Anonymous
United States
Today, for the first time in a week, a customer entered my store. He needed to use the bathroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Wrongtoilet
Singapore
Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML
jeana
United States
Desperate times
Today, I was so desperate to pee that I used the only bathroom in the convenience store I was in, which was “Employees Only.” Well, the door got stuck and I had to get an employee to let me out. FML
Anonymous
Rosthern, Canada
Today, while at work, I went to unlock the washroom for a customer. Normally we don't allow customers to use the staff washrooms, so I was as surprised as the guy I found sitting on the toilet when I opened the door. FML
Sacha
Canada
When nature calls
Today, while I was working in a grocery store, a costumer decide to take a dump on the ground after I told him he couldn’t access to restrooms because my boss closed them due to COVID restrictions. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML
notpayedenoughforthisshit
Boone, United States
Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML
KP
United States
Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML
girlsgottagotoo
Covina, United States
Stank ass
Today, I passed a cashier when I came into a store. Later I passed him again as I was leaving, and he asked me if I needed help finding something because I had been in the store for a while. I told him I had been browsing upstairs, but in reality, I had been in the restroom the whole time. FML
Anonymous
United States
Just pish yerself
Today, I went to the store. In the span of 10 minutes, I went from not needing to pee, to pissing myself in the middle of the crowded store. It wasn’t even just a little bit, it was a full-on stream, and there were no toilets in this store. I’m only 24. FML
PeePee
United States
We heard you
Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML
Top comments
Anti666 17
Tell them to tell other people about your awesome restroom.
alcoholmage 14
Should've locked him in and make him pay up to be let out. Extra profit!
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Comments (103)
Anti666 17
Tell them to tell other people about your awesome restroom.
143dav 8
Hence, OP should probably start charging a fee to use the restroom. It'll pay more than OP's actual business from the sounds of it ;)
TheTwistedOtaku 16
I'm certain if OP actually did that he/she won't have customers at all. No one wants to pay to use the restroom, they'll just find the nearest store and use theirs.
143dav 8
When a man's gotta go, he's gotta go.
Pleonasm 36
BOGTGTTB: Buy one, get to go to the bathroom! See, you just needed a catch-phrase.
annie_nk 23
I'm noticing a lot of places are making bathrooms open only for people who purchase something in the store. So it's kinda like charging to use the bathroom...
GypsyRover 0
"You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?"
patrickalamo 48
Time to advertise
foshizzle82 7
28 - what the ****?
McAninch35 9
"I got snakes, and I got sparklers."
ENLT 6
28 is full of win.
SenselessPattern 12
For the love of all things confusing, can someone explain to us common folk what you are referencing?
Meettitan 14
If someone slipped and fell in a shower with a locked door, you could just break the door down. Not very economical, but a life is worth more than a door. You would have to hear the fall either way anyways.
Meettitan 14
My comment is full of fail, wrong fml. Bury it and hide my shame. However --to clear 28s comment up-- I do believe he is referencing South Park; to those who don't know.
Bonzer 2
90- Nope, Joe Dirt.
ydi_4_suking 20
Aw sorry OP. I know how it is to have a shop and not have work screw the customers
DjeePee 25
Yeah, like it's the customer's fault the shop isn't good enough. By which I don't want to say OP's shop is certainly bad - it could have been just opened, and you can't be a popular store from the first minute - but we live in a world with a shitload of competition, and if the people aren't interested in the products you sell/if they are too expensive/if the quality isn't as good as the customers demand/... you can better change your tactics or close your store.
btstig 11
That was a long ass explanation.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
yeah, allow me to summarize - economics.
GenaALazer 22
thank you 14
Pleonasm 36
Another possible explanation- Aliens. *hand gestures*
mrnuleef 7
Ummm customers = income. DONT SCREW THE CUSTOMERS! Embrace them AND their wallets.
walmartpaysme 15
I agree with 43. Saying "screw the customers" and having that attitude will ruin you. Even though it sucks, the customer is always right.
McAninch35 9
Don't just screw the customers, at least buy them dinner first
FalconSam1414 19
LOL exactly xD
angel_of_death55 7
Wow I hate 6's comments so annoying and long
angel_of_death55 7
And bitchy
Rabidkid 14
59, the customer is always an idiot
mduffy08 8
78 - You are bitching...
nictransitglory 4
I can't believe 80 is getting thumbed down. Unless someone else already said it first, it might be the most clever comment of this FML.
walmartpaysme 15
93, it might be because he misspelled "prostitute".
onlychildFTW 34
That's why I thumbed him down.
alcoholmage 14
Should've locked him in and make him pay up to be let out. Extra profit!
rsunshine2020 13
Yeah I agree, maybe you should start charging people who want to use the bathroom or have a customer only policy.
walmartpaysme 15
If it wasn't for that pesky "unlawful imprisonment" law OP could have done that.
xiaodoggiie 5
It's either your shop is at some remote corner or it's time to spend some money on advertisements.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
This FML is advertising, sort of. OP - tell us about your shop.
ohSNAPyall 27
- If you have so little business, take the time to set up and optimize the Facebook page. Facebook is close to free -- it takes time (and creativity) to set up more than it takes money. It sounds like you've got plenty of time to invest. -- Buy some local Facebook ads too, which can be had for cheap. Advertise a free gift or special discount to customers who make a $x purchase by a certain date. - For customers who do come in, focus on trying to make them into repeat customers. After they make a purchase, give them a coupon (e.g. $5 off a $50 purchase or $15 off a $100 purchase) when they bring a friend who makes a purchase. The friend gets a 10% discount or something off the first purchase (easier to convince the friend to come to your store for a percentage discount than with a coupon that says they would have to spend a minimum amount). - Put a wooden chalkboard sign out in front of your shop. Lure people in with funny phrases and/or sales. Good luck!
drkate25 30
Clearly you know your stuff!
dashizam 10
Go to a Sally Beauty Supply and sort of copy them. Or just go online and look at their ad. They have sales set up by month and occasional 50% off red tag items.
ohSNAPyall 27
Thanks, Dr. Kate!
Hiimhaileypotter 53
81- if you're using the iPhone app you can slide your finger across the middle of the comment and the thumbs up/down should be where you can click it :)
loloalltheway 23
This makes me wonder, what does OP sell?
LittleGreenPaola 23
He should sell bathroom fixtures!
The_F3rris 11
Probably crap that no one wants...otherwise they'd have some customers.
Boygenius50 8
Maybe I'm only saying this because I've just watched 5 consecutive episodes of Breaking Bad, but I know a way OP can make some quick money...
yankfan89 27
Left-handed objects for left-handed people.
spanner_pig 7
aw babe x
TheTwistedOtaku 16
Uh what?
gmc_blossom 21
Words cannot express the amount of "what" I am currently feeling because of that comment.
TheNewGuy03 29
You should greet every prospective customer like the merchant from Resident Evil 4: "What are ya boooooyin'?" But seriously ... what are ya sellin'?
Rosicles 8
Toiletries.
SNICKERZforKYLE 4
Medicinal Marijuana
japtap81 16
If it was medicinal marijuana the place would be packed. Regardless if it was legal or not
GroovyGravy 7
My chicago typewriter
TheNewGuy03 29
I'll buy it at a high price.
JustPassin 4
Ftw
yamuri 17
Charge for toilet paper, win/win
Rosicles 8
Oh dear. Time to re-evaluate that buisness plan. Free bagels on entry?
Rainbowjumper0 12
Free bagels, I would definitely come to your store OP!
DrippingSarcasm 20
At least they didn't go to the bathroom on any of your products...?
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Yes, at least.