Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML
Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today, I walked in on my mom, my dad, Sarah, and Sarah's husband James making dinner in the kitchen. Completely naked. At 2 p.m. They weren't cooking anything to eat. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML
Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML
Today, despite him having a truck and plenty of food in the house, my lazy dad woke me up early and forced me to get him a cup of coffee and a biscuit from the convenience store. They only had sausage biscuits. When I returned, he shot me a dirty look, ripped out the contents of the biscuit, and ate only the bread. FML
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Top comments
TheFamilyElf 17
You know what they say. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. Just kidding, that's awkward as hell any way you slice it.
blondebrunette11 4
Did he wink when he said "Son" ..?
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Comments (149)
Skeleton_fml 1
There are certain things you just can't unsee...
mserrato 8
Is he bigger than you? ;D
blackpuddle 30
I feel you OP, my dad used to go to the bathroom with the door open all the time. There's some things you just don't want to see.
JoePoeMoeFoe 1
I feel your pain. My dad does it everyday... Not fun seeing a 300+ pound naked man walking around the house every day =/
furfantasies 0
Strangely enough, this made me crave cereal
aw3som3sauc3 10
I as well, I'm currently eating cinnamon toast crunch, for anyone that cares...
reddudeover 2
This is where you came from! *Points to his sack Op - :O
Goldenberry_fml 14
D:
pil_84 9
Ah yes some quality father son bonding time
mrghdfy76 8
looks like someone got a full load of his daddys junkmail
pinkpixie06 11
Father's day is just around the corner. Buy him some boxers/briefs..."Hint, hint Dad..."