Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML
Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today, I walked in on my mom, my dad, Sarah, and Sarah's husband James making dinner in the kitchen. Completely naked. At 2 p.m. They weren't cooking anything to eat. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML
Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML
Today, despite him having a truck and plenty of food in the house, my lazy dad woke me up early and forced me to get him a cup of coffee and a biscuit from the convenience store. They only had sausage biscuits. When I returned, he shot me a dirty look, ripped out the contents of the biscuit, and ate only the bread. FML
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Top comments
TheFamilyElf 17
You know what they say. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. Just kidding, that's awkward as hell any way you slice it.
blondebrunette11 4
Did he wink when he said "Son" ..?
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Comments (149)
Dojan 16
You don't say "son" like that in Swedish, we don't use it like that.
HurpMcDerpington 0
Just take off your clothes, get some cereal, sit across from him, and ask for the sports section.
jeansltp 7
Shouldn't you be the one begging for a new pair of eyes?
IronCOG117SR 4
My dad normally walks about in the nude, so I'm kind of desensitized.
abbymiguel 2
It would have been awkward if it was a daughter.
PandaSpots 10
Technically, you're gonna need a new brain. Your eyes do not record any if your memories. I recommend finding a well suited doctor that can give you a brain transplant- though I bet they don't have these- or going to the white house to find a time machine which will then bring you to the future where you can easily erase that one memory. Good Luck!!
selfimage 0
Does he have a big ****?
johndeere96 0
I wouldnt be able to eat at that table ever again. Haha can u say scarred for life?!
mckibabe 7
No, that's when you turn and sprint away!
Jonaahhhh 12
Reminds me of Hal from Malcolm In The Middle...